Lovely Listing

Archive for August, 2008

Self-cleaning basement

Aug. 29, 2008

No need to mop! Let our amazing new basement technology clean itself! Rinses automatically. Over and over and over again.

Thanks to Paula for this basement with a babbling brook. (Is that seaweed on the walls?)

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How the Master Control Program stays fresh and clean

Aug. 28, 2008

This is where they made pitstops while filming this scene:

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Babyfoot!

Aug. 28, 2008


Josh sent me this listing, because of the condition of the house. Yeah, sure, there’s a photo that shows nothing but a crammed closet. And yes, the bathroom is astoundingly cluttered and it would’ve only taken three seconds to clear the counter and take a good photo.

But I forgive them everything, because they have had the excellent idea to put a foosball table in the kitchen. I shall copy them. I’ll have to toss my table away to make room, but I don’t care. Foosball! In the kitchen! Brilliant!

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But it's a _cheap_ Hellmouth

Aug. 28, 2008

Mary the Nebraska Realtor found this house. The listing is one of those “slowly growing dread” ones. It starts out with a cute-as-a-button bungalow, then the interiors become more and more trashed, and finally we end up in the basement where — if I’m seeing this correctly — a bulging Hellmouth is about to open and bring forth the end of the world. Tra la la.

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(((THIS IS A DEVORCE SITUATION))

Aug. 28, 2008


Yes. This is exactly the home situation I want to move in to. Thank you. And look, here I am driving my car, about to smash right into the house. Hope that’s okay!

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I spell F-L-Y

Aug. 27, 2008


From this photo, we learn that a) the tap water tastes band, and b) they have a fly infestation. So the real estate agent posted this because… I don’t know why.

Bzzzzz…. rock it right.

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Back where you belong

Aug. 27, 2008


As soon as I saw this photo, I imagined the picture (embroidery?) on the wall singing “Hello, Dolly,” and now I can’t get that image out of my mind. The listing, intriguingly, says “IMPORTANT-SEE PRIVATE REMARKS” — I wonder if it has anything to do with that?

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