Lovely Listing

Archive for December, 2008

Comes with free case of Lucky Lager

Dec. 31, 2008

If this were the early nineties? And I was in a grunge band? Even though we mocked the term “grunge,” but that was what we were called — ironically! — when our show opening for Girl Trouble got reviewed in The Rocket? And we needed cover art our five-song EP, the one our friend was putting out on the record label he runs from his bedroom in Tumwater?

This is totally the look I would go for.

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*yawn*

Dec. 30, 2008


What? You expect me to put the lid down? Pshaw. For a mere $520,000, it really isn’t worth my time.

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But at least they're germ-free bugs

Dec. 30, 2008

Bug problem? No, no bug problem. What makes you think this house has a bug problem?


Oh. That. No, that’s… a friend’s. He left it here. I really ought to get around to getting it back to him. Mmm-hmmm.

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Refreshing… and fruity!

Dec. 29, 2008


Nope, there’s nothing wrong with the pool. Why do you ask? Oh, the color? No, no, that’s fine. The pool’s filled with Midori. It’s supposed to be that color. Cheers!

P.S. While making sure that Midori was the green liqueur I was thinking of, I found this recipe on their website. June Bug? Mmmm, beetles. Drinkable beetles. How delightful.

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For that van feeling — but in a house!

Dec. 28, 2008


Yes! This is exactly what I’m looking for in a house. A big sleeping woman with a wound in her chest that leaks water. That is what the picture is of, right?

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Well, that's a good sign

Dec. 27, 2008


I’m sure there are good reasons for having a witch’s hat (or, as some people call them, a safety cone) in the kitchen of the house you’re trying to sell. Like… the kitchen is so FULL OF RADNESS that someone might walk in and be all WOAH and jump back and fall and hurt themselves, just because of the awesomeness of it all.

That must be it.

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Shhhh

Dec. 26, 2008


I’m sleeping off a candy-cane hangover. Please shut the door quietly.

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