If this were the early nineties? And I was in a grunge band? Even though we mocked the term “grunge,” but that was what we were called — ironically! — when our show opening for Girl Trouble got reviewed in The Rocket? And we needed cover art our five-song EP, the one our friend was putting out on the record label he runs from his bedroom in Tumwater?
This is totally the look I would go for.
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What? You expect me to put the lid down? Pshaw. For a mere $520,000, it really isn’t worth my time.
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Bug problem? No, no bug problem. What makes you think this house has a bug problem?
Oh. That. No, that’s… a friend’s. He left it here. I really ought to get around to getting it back to him. Mmm-hmmm.
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Nope, there’s nothing wrong with the pool. Why do you ask? Oh, the color? No, no, that’s fine. The pool’s filled with Midori. It’s supposed to be that color. Cheers!
P.S. While making sure that Midori was the green liqueur I was thinking of, I found this recipe on their website. June Bug? Mmmm, beetles. Drinkable beetles. How delightful.
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Yes! This is exactly what I’m looking for in a house. A big sleeping woman with a wound in her chest that leaks water. That is what the picture is of, right?
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I’m sure there are good reasons for having a witch’s hat (or, as some people call them, a safety cone) in the kitchen of the house you’re trying to sell. Like… the kitchen is so FULL OF RADNESS that someone might walk in and be all WOAH and jump back and fall and hurt themselves, just because of the awesomeness of it all.
That must be it.
I’m sleeping off a candy-cane hangover. Please shut the door quietly.
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