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I have poor impulse control


Rar! I want to go on a spree in this room! Throw paint! Wear my outside shoes! Jump up and down! Roast a pig! Move one chair a fraction of an inch away from the wall and watch the homeowner go insane!

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  1. Anonymous says:

    The lamp needs to be turned 2 degrees counterclockwise, too.

  2. Juliana says:

    I hate it when there’s something wrong with the contrast on my computer screen, and images get all washed out.

    Oh, wait a minute….it’s NOT my computer….

  3. tinackp says:

    Wow! That is one clean, bland house!!

  4. The Mef Thing says:

    Wow they do love it pale in that house.
    I agree, it makes me feel like eating a burger while standing up or something.

  5. stewbie2 says:

    I want to leave a speck of hot-pink fuzz right in the middle of the floor…

  6. Melissa ~ Wife to 1, Mom to 5 says:

    My BF and fellow Realtor uses a phrase in marketing these type of houses: “Unleash your creativity”.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Oh look, the Blandersons are selling the homestead! You too can live the palest life possible. Of course, you’ll have to permanently eschew marinara sauce for very obvious reasons and your black Lab will certainly have to go.

    But it’s all to the greater glory of being boring beyond belief, so there is that.

    All that for 850k.

  8. Lucky Wife/Bookaholic says:

    Too bad the relator didn’t have a color camera.

    When people occupy those chairs… what are they looking at?

    I thought it was a funeral home at first.

  9. Mid-C Frank says:

    Makes me want to send a case of red wine!

  10. Stuart says:

    The only thing missing from this montage is Morgan Freeman standing there in a white suit.

  11. Melanie says:

    I just want to take my 3 kids and some paint in there and go all Jackson Pollack!!

  12. dognutmom says:

    And yet, the front door is bright blue. Maybe they had to move before they got around to painting that white too ….

  13. Mallory says:

    They need some color in their lives.

    You’d think for living in Seattle wear it rains a ton, they would have like yellow walls to keep them happy.

  14. Stuart says:

    And one other thing … notice that they put the “non-conforming” fourth bedroom in the basement and have no pictures of that? Oh yeah. I bet it’s one of those misunderstood Goth bedrooms. Down there listening to Peter Murphy and painting itself black.

  15. Dani says:

    This would be an amazing set for a slasher film.

  16. the three amigos says:

    Something makes me think the seller’s favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla.

  17. Saretta says:

    Roast a pig??? LOL!

  18. Catherine says:

    I keep thinking “three year old twins and chocolate.”

  19. Anonymous says:

    “The private yard provides a peaceful sanctuary and a wonderful place to entertain.”

    The house takes up over half of the property, and the front yard takes almost all of the rest of it. There is hardly any ‘private yard’.

    Oh, well, if all you do is fill up your house with furniture, never eat there (no table), never sleep there (no beds), I guess you can entertain somewhere else, too.

  20. T says:

    your selected picture looks like it’s missing a few mourners… who could probably use a splash of paint as well.

  21. Callisto says:

    They should have taken this picture in the dead of winter. Those colorful green trees are clashing with the theme.

  22. Glory von Hathor says:

    In the community of Magnolia!

  23. Suz says:

    You have to give them a little thumbs-up; they hired a real estate photographer, and the verticals are almost straight.
    If only they’d hired a stager!
    -Susie

  24. Ms M says:

    So THIS is Mr. Blanding’s dream house!

  25. janny226 says:

    It’s a test. If you can stand it, the next-door neighbors will approve of you and let you into their little Stepford club. If not, do not move in…

  26. janny226 says:

    I know I just commented but… maybe it’s Mr. Nitnot’s house from the Imagination Movers!

  27. Anonymous says:

    Here's what I'm dying to do: gather every dog I know, throw in a couple of cats, take them all to the nastiest, muddiest swamp I can find & let them play for a while, then drive them to this house & let them loose. What fun they could have! What interesting art they could create!

  28. bungalowbliss says:

    The shade of that wicker loveseat is WAY too harsh. Tone it down, will ya?

  29. Shrapnel says:

    Ah, but wait! This is a picture of a private yoga studio and all the slightly dated, older lady chairs are waiting for their instructor.


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