My husband just came in and asked me what my plans for the day are (I’m writing this on Sunday morning). I told him I was planning on scraping some moss off the roof, putting it in the blender with some buttermilk, mixing it up, and then painting the resulting goop on the cinderblocks I used to build a raised-bed garden last week.
He seemed to think this was an odd response.
Then I said I needed to do Monday morning’s blog post first.
“Maybe you could do something about moss,” sez he. I might have detected a wee touch of sarcasm.
SO THIS POST IS HERE JUST TO SHOW HIM THAT YES, I CAN DO A POST ABOUT MOSS.
Because look! It’s moss! I’m not the only person who thinks moss is pretty! A real estate agent in New Jersey likes it so much that he or she featured it in the listing for this condo! And wrote that the condo was “freshly painted,” clearly meaning “freshly painted with a moss-and-buttermilk slurry!”
MOSS SMOOTHIE FTW
I’m sorry you all had to witness this.
(Submitted By: Melissa C.)
Loveliest comments, by JMixx and Johanna in exile, need to be seen in context.
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Even better! It’s near Cheesequake State Park! The fault line running through the park is what puts the QUAKE there!
Disclaimer: I grew up not 3 miles from here and never actually felt the many tremors I slept through.
The Cheesequake should be a dance from the past like Mashed Potato or The Hustle. It would have a hit song where the chorus went ‘Ev’rybody do the CHEESEQUAKE!’
I’m humming it to Martha and the Vandellas Heatwave right now.
Perhaps they wanted to show the you “before” pic so you would appreciate the “after” result all the more when you see it in person.
And that is assuming everyone will want to see it in person.
Quick, before it’s too late!
OK so I’m not the *only* one that’s heard of the moss-and-buttermilk recipe! I want to do it on some nice terra-cotta pots. But I doubt my arid Texas climate would be favorable for anything other than a dehydrated sun-baked and stinking mess.
As for that porch, all I can say is “Ooh! It’s got TEXTURE!”
I have heard of the moss-and-buttermilk recipe too. The thought of using it on a cinder block flower bed is very appealing! Maybe the people with the porch could lend us some?
Ah, fortunately for me, my roof is a moss farm. Buttermilk, on the other hand…
At least we know what side of the building the porch is on in case anyone gets lost.
I AM MOSS-MONSTER AND I AM HERE TO EAT YOUR BALCONY!
OM NOM NOM NOM
*screams and runs in slow motion circles around the porch* Somebody, please, SAVE MY BALCONY!!
Looks like someone decided to add lots of pot plants to hide the unsightly metal railing, then freaked out they realized that the railing had rusted and moss was growing between the pots.
Pot plants, you say? That would explain a lot.
“Yeah, man, it was recently painted, man. Yeah. Like, I’m totally painting it in my mind right now, man. It’s an interpretive thing or whatever. Now quit harshing my mellow and don’t bogart the Cheetos…”
You know, it is a rare occasion when I see the word “bogart” spelled out and in proper context!
Please explain the term “bogart” and what it means. Thank you for using it in a sentence!!
To “bogart” something means to hog all of something for yourself. Normally used concerning certain, ahem, inhaled organic combustibles of a recreational nature, or the food items one normally consumes in mass quantities after smoking the aforementioned inhaled combustibles. Or so I’ve heard…
Yes, that is correct… go in peace.
It’s a song from the movie “Easy Rider”, and it means to smoke (ahem) a cigarette like Humphrey Bogart:
Don’t bogart that joint my friend
Pass it over to me
Don’t bogart that joint my friend
Pass it over to me
Roll another one
Just like the other one
You’ve been holding on to it
And I sure will like a hit
[chorus]
Roll another one
Just like the other one
That one’s burned to the end
Come on and be a real friend
For some reason, this reminds me of the Moss Man character from He-man. Anyone ever have that action figure? It smelled awful…much like old buttermilk, now that I think about it.
I have one of those lurking in my basement. Maybe I should see if they are worth anything on Ebay …
Hey, whaddya know! It was recently painted AND has new carpet, too!