Dear Reader,
You can help a raccoon in distress. Or you can turn the page.
For just pennies a day, you can provide a raccoon with a hardhat, a Kevlar vest, and pepper spray — the minimum of tools needed for an animal living in such perilous surroundings.
Won’t you give now? Please donate to the Help Me Oh My God Please Help Me I’m a Raccoon and I’m Surrounded by Bears Fund.
Our masked friends thank you.
Found By: Christina P
Loveliest comment, by JMixx:
Muhuhahahahaha! *twirls mustache menacingly*
I didn’t even kill and stuff my trophy! I have a CAPTIVE, LIVE philodendron in my den, staring longingly out the window at his wild brethren! Meanwhile, the Ficus paces restlessly in the dining room…
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Somebody needs to photoshop up the raccoon with the hardhat, Kevlar vest, and pepper spray!
Or an even unhappier face. We are a hardy race of people. Hardy and proud, he must be troubled to accept charity.
Ps. I did not choose this name just for this http://live.xbox.com/en-GB/profile/profile.aspx?pp=0&GamerTag=DepressedRacoon
I don’t have xbox live anymore, but I am now on the PS3 with the same name so nah.
the owner apparently got his kicks from shooting BABY bears? I’m surprised he’s still alive, seems like the mama bear would be after him in a minute.
or maybe this is an estate sale…
*chuckle*
estate sale….
I just got that…
But where are the pic-a-nic baskets Yogi?
And, as usual, those self-important deer just look the other way. I’m putting my check in the envelope right now. Hang on, little racoon!
Thank you for your help. As you can see, they’re already moving on to safer lands: http://www.flickr.com/photos/swthomson/3759243339/
Why… what a lovely room of death!
That is totally what I thought! Ace Ventura forever! LOL
OMG! Sarah Palin is selling her *other* house now?
Right–from this one, she can see Canada. That is a foreign country, just FYI.
It almost looks like the raccoon was begging for mercy when he was, uh, well, you know’d….
“Please please don’t shoot me and put me in your HALL OF DEATH!!!! I’ll stay out of your trash, I promise!!!!”
It does say furnishings/mounts negotiable. So I’m totally not buying unless he throws in the fake cliffside being climbed by a stuffed bear. That just brings the whole room together.
Why is Ted Nugent selling his home?
I really don’t see the problem, seems the bears are busy discussing daily goings-on
Why does no one ever stuff egglplant or broccoli and arrange them “habitat friendly” in the den?
I think I hear Sarah McLachlan singing in the backgroud…
you’re in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there…
*sniffle* Save Rocky and Boo Boo! We need a Telethon!
p.s. Where the hell is Patrick Nagle’s biggest fan, Stuart??????
Stuffed eggplant usually doesn’t make it past the kitchen in my house….mmm…now I have dinner plans!
I do keep dried clippings from some of my prettier bushes in decorative glass jars though. I’ve never thought of it as an anti animal abuse statement before, but now I will!
Stuffed eggplant also doesn’t have fluffy and shiny stuff that men (and Sarah Palin) love to pretend they put themselves in the way of danger for: glass eyeballs, hooves, whiskers, fur, 3 inch canines, claws, antlers…
And, as the Cowardly Lion once said:
“…What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? Courage!
What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage!
What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage!
What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage!
What makes the Hottentot so hot?
What puts the “ape” in apricot?
What have they got that I ain’t got?
Stuffed beasts in their house!”
Muhuhahahahaha! *twirls mustache menacingly*
I didn’t even kill and stuff my trophy! I have a CAPTIVE, LIVE philodendron in my den, staring longingly out the window at his wild brethren! Meanwhile, the Ficus paces restlessly in the dining room…
I have a wandering Jew in my sunroom..at least it used to be wandering….neener neener neener…
Someone should really tell that Wandering Jew we’ve had our own country for fifty years now and we’d love to have it help bloom the desert …
Excellent idea! Right next to the Holy Moses Burning Bush.
Why is there a closeup of the raccoon anyway? Does it come with the house.
I can see the seller leaving the bear climbing the wall monstrosity but you’d figure he’d want the rest of his treasures.
The internet has taught me a very very important lesson over the past few months: don’t ever ever EVER EVER ask why. The answers should all be philosophical and not actually answered.
It took my brain a full minute to figure out the perspective on that first picture and now I have a bad case of vertigo. ::falls out of chair::
Can you imagine a LIVE bear peeking through the windows and seeing his relatives stuck on the walls, forever frozen in time? I certainly would NOT want to be the one living in that place when THAT happens! “Oh…heh-heh… hello, Mr. Bear! Um…I swear, it…wasn’t….me…” *glass breaking* *screaming* *running*
Like this?
http://chrisjules.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/polar_bear_pokes_through_porthole.jpg
You mean like Goldilocks?
Colbert’s house, right?
I don’t think Colbert…now if that was a WHITE bear, I’d say it was Stewart’s house and it was a Glen Beck substitute.
For some reason that bear on the far left reminds me of the movie Titanic…
This is that new and edgy Cabela’s Sporting Goods Department look all the young people are into.
I’m a little worried about the size of the bear on the rock, though. Compare it to the pine trees he’s climbing past. That bear’s ginormous!
Of course, compare the size of the loveseat to the size of those pine trees. . . .
This is the giants’ castle on top of the beanstalk, isn’t it?
I actually like this one..maybe minus the trophy wall but could go either way
They can always sell the house to REI! You can try out your rock climbing equipment after they liberate the fauna.
HOUSE OF DEATH? …Absolutely!!!
How disgusting a display!
How disgustingly disturbing the vibes must be in that place!
How disgustingly sad the karma of the human person responsible for all that pain/suffering/death.
I’m not sure if the ‘atmosphere’ could ever be completely cleansed – even after the estate sale.
Many comments, such as by:
roballen – L M A – DL – kulili
and TacoMagic are all “spot-on”!
Me thinks someone (homeowner) was trying hard for the Bass Pro Shop decor.
Living in that house would be like living in a diorama of a Jack London novel.
why is it that realters take photos of things that are not staying? or is rocky included in the asking price?
Apparently, the critters are negotiable.
That’s the only time they had an opportunity to negotiate…
I’m shaking my head. The Realtor(tm) thought the dead, stuffed Raccoon was enough of a selling point that one of the six photos (s)he uploaded was a picture of it. Then again, I’ve never been to Maine…perhaps (s)he is smarter than I think.
You can run with us.
We got everything you need.
Come with us… We are freeeeee.
Oh, sorry. 80s cartoon flashback.
I once went to the Prague natural history museum. They’d given ALL the taxidermy orange plastic teddy-bear eyes. Including the snakes, and the alligators.
Holy crap. Now, I eat meat. I participate in the traditional food chain, via my grocery store. It isn’t as if nothing has ever died to feed me.
But who the heck stuffs and mounts an animal with an expression of pleading terror???
That’s to say nothing of the rest of the cast of death used for decoration, but either the taxidermist or the hunter has a really, really frightening sense of humor. I’m going with both of them.
Seriously, that’s twisted.
I wish I could remember the person who quoted this, but it summed up my feelings on these grisly trophies perfectly”
“I went to a friend’s house, and he had a deep head mounted over his fireplace. I asked him why he had it there, and he explained that he thought the deer was beautiful and graceful. I replied ‘My Mom is beautiful and graceful too, but I’m not gonna slaughter her and stick her head on my wall…’”
Um, and by “deep head” I mean “deeR head”…silly new keyboard and its tighter key arrangement!
Well put
Also, “Okay, so please don’t go to the ballet, I’m begging you.”
Shhh I think they are coming, remember when they sit down you get the one on the right and I’ll have the one on the left.
Nothing like sleeping outdoors…I mean indoors..I mean outdoors…what?
47 comments and NO ONE caught the Hunter S. Thompson reference?
Courtesy of my LOLcat overlord.