How do you not play favorites if you raise your children in a house like this? “Here’s how it’s going to be, kids. Alex: you get the plain old bedroom on the second floor. Bruce: you get the one next door to Alex’s. And Claire, you get the TOTALLY EXCELLENT TURRET TOWER WOOO HOOO but I love you all the same, you know I do.”
Found By: Heather. Click that link to see a family that really, really likes chairs. Not Chairs, but chairs. Man, they have a lot of them. Oh, here, I’ll just grab some photos for you — but trust me, it’s a chairnanza over there:
Seating for all!
Loveliest comment, by SM: “Oh look, honey, there’s another 10 square feet of unused space!”
“Better get some more chairs.”
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Oh c’mon that would never happen in my family. Mostly because I would insist that my wife and I get the turret.
Indeed. The kids can have the boring rooms – the turret is for MEEEEEEEEE!
Of course, I’d have to grow my hair really long…
I wouldn’t even let my husband use the turret… It would be my throne room… I mean my office. Yeah, that’s what we’ll call it, an office.
I’m Claire, and I approve of this game.
What do they do in their living room? Hold church services? Movie screenings? Self-help groups?
No matter. I WANT THIS HOUSE. Anybody got a spare $4 million and change to loan me?
Oo, I vote for self-help groups. Maybe I could make enough money doing that to afford the house!
It looks like the meeting place for environmental/ecological campaigners. The painting behind the pulpit is of trees. All the furniture seem to be natural wood. The floor, walls and ceiling are pure white.
I was thinking either church or funeralhome, yes.
Really? I was thinking former cult compound… Here’s a tip: if you find any Kool-Aid in the pantry, throw it out.
i think the chairs are for the new alqueida members.
you know, oreintation…
Man! you weren’t kidding about the chairnanza. Such a wide variety! Although, I’m a bit disappointed I didn’t see any chairs in the bathroom. Why leave this room out of the chairing spectacular? It’s just not fair for bath to be left out!
heck, maybe that’s because that’s already the, ahem, throne room.
I think there’s already a place to sit.
no actual chair, but you’ll notice that the inside of the bathtub is nicely chair-shaped.
Oh my gawd, that’s less than a mile from me: and if it’s the house I’m thinking of, yes, they have held religious services there, and yes, the neighbors have been royally ticked off by all the extra cars blocking up the street; services apparently last several hours Sundays, plus of course a couple of extra weekday-night meetings…..
And not only are there a multitude of chairs, I count at least four dining tables, plus of course the breakfast bar. But the part that gets me: in the room with the leather couches & chairs, is that a padded seating area IN FRONT OF THE FIREPLACE?!? Eek!
Call me a commie, or grumpy, or just jealous of all that space, but there’s something totally obscene about a 5 bedroom, 11,000 square foot house. And the house itself is bizarre — very large but still basically a generic suburban Virginia red brick house with odd, out of places flourishes, like that turret.
“A Chairnanza” ?! The humor on this blog gets more and more obscure every day. I love it!
Ah, it’s easy to get lost in the 30 high-resolution photos of this house…to spend too long wondering why there’s a sword on a board next to one of the dozens of pointless brick archway things… or wondering why these folks have purchased no item of decor for their $4-mill house since 1972 (I bet I can guess their favorite, too–the faux-book trifecta–the coffee table that’s supposed to look like a stack of huge books, flanked by the two lamps that look like messy stacks of books with lampshades teetering on top). But don’t get lost, guys: stay focused. Something is prominently absent, mysteriously missing. Where is the interior photo of the coolest feature of this house, even cooler than the spacious zoning-violation meeting room for 50 plus? That’s right, the TURRET ROOM. We don’t get to see it, do we. Oh, my, perhaps that’s the one room in the house that’s not painted institutional white, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
the best observation posted. Not even a view out the window, unless that picture of a lake or lagoon is it.
That is the Potomac River, about 1/2 mile south of Mount Vernon, VA. Only reason they got away with building the house so close to the Potomac that is because it’s on the same side of the river as Mount Vernon (hence, not visible from the front porch). Laws prohibit building anything like that across the river in MD which is why this house’s view is so good. What kind of church is meeting there, btw? I think I would be peeved (to be polite) if someone moved a church into my very expensive neighborhood without asking or applying for zoning.
HA that’s what I was going to post about. I want to see the round room! I looked eagerly through each of the 30 pictures (~10 of which were wasted on the river, ok, it’s got a pretty view, ONE shot covers that!!!) only to be disappointed by a lack of imagination on the realtor’s part!
Grr
Checking back over the photos, I don’t think the ‘turret room’ really IS a room. Look at the third of those thirty pictures: see the flag & flagpole, which are also visible from the front of the house at the top of the appears-to-be-a-turret? I think that’s actually a (possible circular) staircase up to a rooftop observation deck…… darn. I’d rather have a turret room than a rooftop deck!
By my count they can seat 85 or so of their closest friends, without using a sofa or loveseat.
Yes, I have too much time on my hands.
“Oh look, honey, there’s another 10 square feet of unused space!”
“Better get some more chairs.”
4.2 million? Somebody’s getting seriously ripped off. The place has no imagination. Like Joy said, it’s “still basically a generic suburban Virginia red brick house with odd, out of places flourishes.” If I had that kind of money to spend on “lifestyle,” I’d put half in the bank and hire a staff with the interest – and with the rest, build a house with real character.
Don’t forget the dock, complete with its own mini-turret!
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your–oops–crap–aaaAAAIIIEEEE!”
*splash*
Doesn’t seem like much room in that turret. I’m guessing a spiral stairwell is in there. I love the porches. I love church, but not in my home at this size. It’s past time for this gathering to build somewhere. If they can afford to pay a pastor to keep up a home of this magnitude, then they can afford a church building.
OH. MY. AWESOME.
This is exactly what I have been looking for, just wish I could afford a house.
I have always wanted a castle house or nice 2 story home. This is everything I have always wanted combined!!!
I am fascinated by the huge brick foursided (I can’t tell how many sides, really) fireplace. I am little creeped out however by the one niche that is not bricked in. “Oh you didn’t like today’s sermon, huh? Well come upstairs where I have a magnificent cask of Amontillado you must try”….
Maybe the turret is where they lock up blasphemers?
What? No moat?
96 chairs. That’s only four off a round hundred being visible in the photos. And just think of all those that were too shy to be in the photos.
Hey, every mega-church was once a mini-church.
I’m a little disturbed by the combination of what could potentially be a cult gathering room and all those swords on the walls.
96 chairs!
Too many chairs for one man to carry on.
Pretty sure it’s a church. If you look closely down front, sure enough, there’s a cross. Took me forever to find it, and as far as I can tell it’s the only religious symbol in the house. Although they’ve got something going on with swords, too.
It would have to be a church anyway, wouldn’t it? Anything else (conference center, funeral home) and the area would have to be zoned differently.
So…it’s real estate, and it’s all about location, but according to that listing there is a water view, but no water access…4.2 million dollars? For builder’s grade finishes? Hey, I have builder grade finishes in a lot of my bathrooms too…but my house? Nowhere near 4.2 million.
That’s a lot to pay for a grouping of stuff from the Home Depot.
In Virginia, a church would have to be zoned too, which is why this place has ticked off the neighbors: a total disregard for how all the extra traffic and parking and noise on a neighborhood’s side streets affects those neighbors.
The residents of this have claimed the neighbors objections are ‘purely racist’.
They like doors, too. I think they have three sets of front doors in the second picture down on the link…..
It’s the massive master bedroom that caught my eye. Everything else is crammed with furniture, then there’s this bedroom that has to be 1000 square feet with two seats and a bed, surrounded by a vast expanse of white. I would never be able to sleep there.
When I see a Victorian pepper-pot room or other turret-ish thing on a house, my first thought is, “Can they keep that warm in winter and cool in summer?” I mean, the things rank way high for style, but I’m not sure I’d want my office or bedroom in one. Even here in Florida (okay, the north of Florida) it can get cold on winter nights as well as very hot on summer days.
I’d want some serious insulation in the walls and some high-tech windows.
Jimmy James would totally live there