SCENE: A 3-bedroom split level house in Madison, circa 1975
HOMEOWNER 1: Time to pick out our new carpet, honey!
HOMEOWNER 2: Let’s get something practical. Something that won’t show stains.
HOMEOWNER 1: Great idea. How about these? (PULLS OUT CARPET SAMPLES) These will certainly hide dirt. All kinds of dirt could be hidden here, yessiree!
HOMEOWNER 2: Perfect! My goodness, I hate to think how much dirt would have to be on this carpeting for the dirt to actually show up! Fortunately nobody would ever let their house get that dirty!
HOMEOWNER 1: Certainly not! That would be ridiculous.
HOMEOWNER 2: Now that we have that settled — how about some fondue?
HOMEOWNER 1: What?
HOMEOWNER 2: I don’t know, it’s just the first mid-’70s food that came to mind. Mmmm. Fondue. And we don’t have to worry if we drop it on the carpet. It can be the first of so many things we stash away here…
HOMEOWNER 1: Wait, what, now the carpet’s installed? I thought we just picked it out. This makes no sense.
HOMEOWNER 2: I know. Plus my name is “Homeowner 2″? What the hell?
HOMEOWNER 1: This is too weird. Why couldn’t we be in one of the “secretly I think this is awesome posts? I’m outta here.
HOMEOWNER 2: Wait for meeee!
Found By: Erik
Loveliest comment, by Heidi: Add like 2 more inches of shag to the orange shag, and that’s my aunt’s carpet. That she’s had for going on 40 years. And they have pets. Seriously, we could probably find enough DNA in that carpet to clone the four dogs they’ve had.
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I have fond memories of playing with legos on something very similar to the orange carpet. It was flat instead of shag, but the same color/pattern.
Me too! That carpet was in every other new house in the 70′s, mine included. Despite the hideousness, it’s a fond flashback.
The first stain looks like something out of CSI! i.e. giant pool of body fluids!
Actually, my first thought on seeing this was of those parking garages where every floor is painted a different color so you could remember where you left your car…
Ugly carpets, but don’t knock fondue. It’s evolved a lot since the mid-70′s and is now awesome!
Anyone else here familiar with the anime series “Cowboy Bebop?” Because in one episode, everyone aboard a space ship starts hallucinating and becomes deathly ill from an alien invasion. Turns out that a nasty, furry, moldy curry left in the refrigerator evolved into a malign Entity and the only way to stay alive is to eject the fridge (and evil contents) into the vacuum of space. In a follow-up episode seen on Lovely Listing, the Entity is found to have traveled to Madison, Wisconsin, where it spreads itself across a kitchen floor and awaits its next victims.
Hmmm…. sounds like they borrowed heavily from “Red Dwarf…”
Hey yeah! I remember that one! Only I thought it was some sort of alien lobster that Spike had left in the fridge for too long. There was a sort of scittering black blob, but whatever it was it wasn’t poisonous. Ed ate it while half-asleep!
Maybe your getting that episode confused with the infamous “mushrooms” episode? That’s the one where the crew end up having a bunch of bizarre hallucinations.
I’m really disturbed by the top photo. Traditionally beds are anchored on one wall, extending into the room, with traffic areas around the perimeter, right? And traffic areas get the most dirt, right? So does that mean this is actually BROWN shag carpet with BLUE dirt? Oh, my head hurts.
I remember this type of carpet… *shudder* It was a heavy shag-cut. Some of the yarns were twisted in two shades of teal/blue, and the others were twisted in two shades of avacado/green. Depending on the way the nap of the shag was pushed by foot traffic, furniture imprints, vacuums, etc., you could end up with “splotchy” areas like this, even when the carpet was brand new.
Could be that this area was the footprint of a waterbed pedestal and someone tried to vacuum it out without bothering to do the rest of the room. Ewww.
I’m guessing it was one of those twin bed corner group arrangements, possible used by boys (note blue color) who liked to tromp around in the mud then go in their room and play. Sounds kind of idyllic to me except that no one ever actually cleaned said muddy rug…
I could swear I’ve seen this before, and I thought I saw it here. Is it just very similar to another listing?
Regardless, it rates an entirely heartfelt, “Ew.”
It’s been on the voting page, but I don’t think I’ve used it before. There have been other, similar carpets, though, because the world is a sad place.
Add like 2 more inches of shag to the orange shag, and that’s my aunt’s carpet. That she’s had for going on 40 years. And they have pets. Seriously, we could probably find enough DNA in that carpet to clone the four dogs they’ve had.
My parents had all of those exact carpets throughout the house (the blue one was my room, the red my brothers’). And, at one point they had black velvet wallpaper with gold trim in their room.
Oh, the 70s.
I don’t look well? But I feel fine! Here, let me step into the other room. How about now? Less jaundiced?
I like how the window in the bottom room casts its own special shadow.
There must be another window on the wall we can’t see.
I bet this house was decorated as an experiment for the colourblind. What can you see in the pattern of colour?
My MIL has this house’s kitchen carpet in her dining room. It is in reality an indoor/outdoor style of carpet. She also has yellowy-orange carpet eerily similar to this house in the 2 bedrooms of her house that she uses for her bed and breakfast. She thinks that when she dies either BIL and wife or dh and I will move into her house and live in it UNCHANGED! News for her, if it is dh and I we will be tearing it down and rebuilding as it is on an awesome parcel of land.
I lived in Madison – notice the price for such a small city – over 200k for that monstrosity.
I think that second carpet is the colour of every single church basement carpet I’ve ever seen. (If not carpet, that ubiquitous grey & green linoleum tile.)
Actually, I, er, like the blue room.
Good god … the stains …. ick!
Ahh, I see they’re auctioning off Prince Prospero’s estate since his untimely demise after contracting the Red Death. The fourth pic has gotta be the infamous “last room”. Look at the sinister colors and how the light from the window defies the laws of physics!
GAHHH! When I first saw this, I had frightening flashbacks and panicked, thinking my former home had made it to Lovely Listings! Two of the bedrooms had the EXACT colors, rugs and window orientation as the blue and orange rooms in this listing. Then I saw the red carpet and floral wallpaper, and breathed a huge sigh of relief. NOT my old home. My third bedroom was mint green with white shag.
Shouldn’t do that to people at 3:30 AM, y’know…
My husband tells me that his mother once carpeted the walls with this stuff back in the 70s. I’d have loved to see that.
Oh dearie me, this brings back memories of the house my folks bought in 1974. It had sculpted loop pile carpet – the pattern was of fern fronds coloured Turquoise and Purple!
Somebody out there worked hard to design those carpets, put hours of toil into coming up with the perfect combination of colours, the prefect length of tuft and the perfect stuff to make it out of. On the other hand, it could have been someone trying to draw their migraine aura.
The non-conf bedroom in my basement STILL has that exact blue carpeting, and one wall where the dainty floral wallpaper alternates with gold-marbled mirror tiles. Complete with acoustic tile ceiling and two “bordello” style wall sconces. All original to 1974. I use the room for storage and don’t go in there much. (shudder)
Hey, that blue one is the exact same pattern as my entryway rug. My parents’ friends bought a house with each room carpeted in a different awesomely horrible 70s carpet. We cut out some chunks of the least soiled carpet and I had them hemmed into rugs.
Hey I think I grew up in the purple room.
It looks like the castle description in Poe’s Masque of the Red Death!