Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while may remember its old subtitle was “A Collection of Poorly Chosen Photos from Real Estate Listings,” and I do still think of it that way. But I should stop because really, sometimes the real estate agents or landlords are doing the best they can. I mean — it’s a snow cave (not a hole in the ground, and thus I could move into it without breaking my New Year’s resolution). What are you going to do? It’s a frikkin’ HOLE in a pile of SNOW and you’re suggesting that somebody move into it, and there’s really no way to gussy that up without violating some Truth in Advertising laws that Sweden must have because otherwise Ikea’s website would look quite a bit spiffier and less like an office supply catalogue.
I just had a robot translate the listing, and it says this:
Type: Commercial & Real Estate, Miscellaneous, Rental Street: –
We have finally become clear to our project, “Grass Snake”, and can now erjuda an approximately 5 cc snökoja with a 120 cm wide double bed.
Proposed lease of this alternative, then we do not need it every night. (Has already apartment next door). Took a week to dig out!
It is situated in a quiet location in a large snow piles.
Proposed rent this for $ 500 per night.
This includes:
sleeping mats,
help igentäppning of the entrance from the outside,
Sauna (either before or after the night);
dried food for breakfast (good flavor),
some tea,
and possibly wireless modem to the computer.Good reception on both wireless broadband and mobile phone.
Email the interest of the ev. rent.
NOTE! Remember that it is only for a limited time!
Hope that clears it all up. I am curious about the red laser poking out of the wall… maybe that’s the ingetäppning or the erjuda.
Snökoja. Tee hee hee. It said snökoja. I’ll snökoja you, buddy.
Found by: Fredrik
Loveliest comment, by ReverendTed: That’s not a laser, it’s a lightsaber, to defend from the inevitable wampa attack.
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Copy & paste this:
Hold on. Are you saying that I could possibly make MONEY from the copious piles of snow in my yard? Or is this only in Sweden?
Actually 500 kronor a night, or about $70. Which is a relief, because who in his right mind would pay $500 a night for a 5 m^2 hole in the snow? Whereas $70, sure, that’ll get snapped right up.
Well, it did take a week to dig out, after all. It’s not just any snow-pit.
Are we sure this isn’t from a brochure entitled, “Vacations and Accommodations that Will Absolutely Inspire a Divorce” “Fifty Passive-Aggressive Ways to Get Your Lover to Leave You”?
I’m just trying to imagine anyone merrily trooping into a snow cave for an evening. It’s Sweden. They have things with walls and roofs there, too.
Is this like the lodging equivalent of the Polar Bear Club?
With the tea lights and blocking up the doorway, I’m thinking it’s 50 ways to smother yourself and your disagreeable spouse. I wonder if they leave an opening for air?
Whoa, they’re offer to block the door? Entombed with no bathroom facilities and you get to pay for the privilege. Nifty. Lodging for masochists.
I’m from Denmark, Sweden’s neighbour, so I understand a bit Swedish. I’m pretty sure that “Erjuda” should have been “Erbjuda” which means “offer”.
“Igentäppning” I can’t seem to find in any dictionaries, but I’m pretty sure they’re offering to close the doorway with snow from the outside. Hope you’re not suffering from claustrophobia!!!
- And it’s not tea, but tealight candles that are complimentary.
Tealights? I suppose flaming torches would NOT be a good choice for lighting a snow cave then?
Why is all that red stuff in there? Did someone have a tragic cherry Kool-Aid accident?
Wow, the Swedes must be really friendly people! I can never find help igentäppning here in California!!
I think I can clear up some of the swedish words here although I am from Norway.
Erbjuda (the tight spelling) = Offer
Igentäppning = (literally) plug the hole
Snökoja = Snow hut
What?! No window?
Sorry, that’s a deal breaker for me.
That’s not a laser, it’s a lightsaber, to defend from the inevitable wampa attack.
I’d wager if they threw in one of those new tauntaun sleeping bags they could demand premium rents from Star Wars geeks for “an authentic Hoth experience.”
In addition to Night in a Snow Cave, this company also offers Night in a Stalled Car with a Dead Battery for only 350 k, Weekend in a Lean-To for 600 k, and Fortnight in My Son’s Plywood Fort for 800 k.
So do you have to sign a waiver to sleep in there? In the event that the whole thing collapses in on you while you’re sleeping, the landlord is not obligated to dig you out.
“NOTE! Remember that it is only for a limited time!”
(Before it melts in the spring.)
I detect some Moorish influence in the design. Call it the “Alhambrrrrrrra” and get a few more kroner per night.
WIN
Nice job translating–that just makes the listing! However…I dunno.. the “entrance” just resembles a giant…uh…body..part? Perhaps of the feminine persuasion? I just can’t get past that. :X
I didn’t want to say anything in case it was just me….
Snow hut for rent for as long as it’s around
We’ve finally finished our project “Snöka” (abbreviation of snökoja?) and can now offer (incorrect spelling of erbjuda) an approximately 5 cc snow hut with a 120 cm wide double bed.
[We] propose to lease this second-hand as we don’t have a need for it every night. (We already have an apartment next door.) It took a week to dig out/clear out!
It is situated in a quiet location under a large pile of snow.
[We] propose a rent of 500 kronor per night.
This includes:
Sleeping mats
Help plugging the entrance from the outside
Sauna (either before or after the night)
Freeze-dried food for breakfast (the good kind)
Tealights
and possibly a wireless modem for [connecting to a] computer.
Good reception for both wireless broadband and mobile phone.
Email if you’re interested in renting.
NOTE! Remember that it is for a limited time only!
I’d like to know what the difference between the good kind and other kinds of freeze-dried breakfast food can be.
Actually, the funniest part is the title of the listing, which (translated) is: “Snow cabin for rent for as long as it lasts”!
Ohh … I like the gothic arch … – that was a nice touch to this igloo!
There is something unendingly funny about living in a snow cave with wireless access.
As an native swede I am proud to say that we have wireless access everywhere, it´s the cornerstone of our society (or something like that…)
Ok, ok, if no one else will do it I will.
Ahem. This place is COOL!!!
This place has nothing on the Ice Hotel in northern Sweden.
http://www.icehotel.com/
Ive been living in the land of snökoja opportunities and didnt even know it. For shame.
Well, I’ll be… This one’s just a few kilometers from me, just to the east of our lovely capital city of Stockholm. Perhaps I should contact them… Oooor I might just go outsidea couple of hundred meters and build me one myself. Hey, the snow seems to be lasting at least a few more weeks, judging from the look on the weatherman’s face.
Petty they’re not offering a Chair though. I mean, do I have to lie down to use my computer? Nowhere to sit?
But I suppose, with the property market as it is, even a snow cave like this might be welcome to the students around here.
Cool! DIY Cryogenics:)