No, no, get your mind out of the gutter (and into the ocean). I’m pretty certain they’re mermaids, not sex dolls — that would be silly. Unless they’re both, in which case the world is an even stranger place than I thought.
Found By: Erin
Loveliest comment, by Land of shimp: Just what everyone wants: to feel like they are giving a lap dance to a mermaid while eating. Why didn’t I think of that?
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Copy & paste this:
They look like they would be pretty uncomfortable to sit in with those boobs poking you in the back like that.
That is EXACTLY what I thought.
If I’m not mistaken, this tableau is near an entrance; maybe they make the unwanted guests sit there.
It’s exactly what I was thinking, too. Maybe they were designed as posture correction chairs…
They are vibrating, back massaging boobs.
Yup my thoughts EXACTLY…. that’ll warp some poor boy’s childhood, eating dinner with hard plastic boobs jabbing him in the back of the head…
Well, hell, he might turn out to be the one heterosexual American male who can think straight in the presence of mammary glands. Lord knows the rest of us propose unsuitable marriages, sign unaffordable mortgages, procreate unwanted children and other madness on account of the damn things.
What the–?
This is a 2 million dollar house that looks like a 2 million dollar house, not like an upgraded tract house. But those mermaids? I’m flummoxed. They look like plaster or fiberglass or something else hard, and like Alissa says wouldn’t be very comfortable to lean back on.
Could they be figureheads from prows of a ship? Art installation? The owner lost a bet? I too am at a loss. I am also not sure what to make of the Indian(?) painting in the library above the chess set.
WHY!! are they all brunettes? Have some creativity and mix it up a little for peats sake! How about a sexy redhead, or dashing blonde?
Come to think of it, I’ve always thought a sizable percentage of mermaids have _green_ hair. And they only sit on the shore (rocks) to comb it. Or to lure sailors.
So, landlocked as they are, who are this fetching quartet luring, and to what?
They are identical, which to me makes them even creepier.
I think the listing agent just wanted to show how great the new air conditioner works. It’s GOT to be coooooold in there by the looks of things.
The house is obviously huge and WAY overdone. Seems to be a fondness for animal prints in there, too. It reminds me of the trashy girlfriend (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) in The First Wives Club. SHE would decorate a house like this.
Also, I want the three different sets of kitchen cabinets: black, white and wood, explained. Surely not three kitchens. Maybe a butler’s pantry and a…
Yeah, between the multiple kitchens and, like Land of Shrimp noted above, at least four dining table w/chairs (not to mention the ‘breakfast bar’!), I was looking for something about a mother-in-law apartment or au pair suite or whatever.
and boy howdy, yes: Shelly the trashy girlfriend in First Wives’ Club hits the mark!
I think the white cabinets are in the master bathroom and I think the black (or maybe green) cabinets are part of a wet bar set up (maybe).
Ooh, I wonder if those mermaid arms reach up and grab you when you sit down. Creepy.
ha!
I love mermaid lore, and those chairs are creepy. I know mermaids have been sweetened into lovely ladies by Disney, but in most legends mermaids are scary. It would creep me out to see those everyday. Maybe they came from some nautical eatery. Shiver. Not to mention, they’re tacky as all get out.
This must be the little kids table for Thanksgiving.
“Ooh grandma, I wanna sit on Ariel’s lap while I eat my stuffing.”
“Tommy, stop sitting backwards on your Mermaid chair!”
“Tommy, stop playing with your sushi!”
For those who hate to eat alone… and really like sushi.
Beautiful house if you had another million to get rid of all the awful “decorating’ these people did and take it back to 1910.
but those tightly-curved wooden library stairs are GORGEOUS!
yeah, I know: only one truly timeless item in the entire house…..
including the mermaids, the kitchen island, and 3 on the patio, I count 9 (yes NINE) collections of tables-and-chairs suitable for dining. With 9 options, I guess you can afford to have mermaids in your entry hall.
uh, those pointy breasties are freaking me out the most, methinks.
So… they’ll be taking the furniture when they leave, right?
having the current owners take the furniture with when they leave will cost you another hafl a million!
Worth it.
Knowing you’re a Stargate fan, I admit Stargate Atlantis was the first thing I thought of when I saw the title of this post on Twitter. Adding to the illusion, there was a Tweet from David Hewlett (Dr. Rodney McKay) immediately below it.
I simply can’t imagine having that quartet in my house.
One of my LOLcat overlords had put this up on the voting page. I saw the headline first and really really really hoped it would be an SGA-themed listing…
Ah well, I don’t think you’ll ever find a Stargate Atlantis themed listing to compete with the over-the-top geeky awesomeness of this: http://www.extravaganzi.com/stargate-atlantis-home-theater-very-cool-themed-home-theatre/ .
I sure hope you do, though.
I love this so much. I’m going to find a way to force in into this blog somehow, one of these days…
Okay, so this has to be the best set of comments I’ve seen yet. I agree w/ all of you. =D
Well I’ve looked and looked and looked at this picture but I still can’t find a reflection in any of the windows of the photographer wearing nothing but his camera.
Looks like a seance being conducted by inflatable sex dolls. Soon after this picture was shot they actually contacted the spirit of Houdini, and contracted a handful of STDs.
No, they certainly cannot be sex dolls and mermaids at the same time…
How DO you have sex with a mermaid anyway?
You don’t have sex with mermaids they just give head
and they don’t speak English …just like the “perfect woman”
*ducking*
(Clearly this is a joke about that kind of joke, its not serious)
Out of the several dozen tables in this house, this is the only one at which all guests can enjoy sitting abreast and perpendicular at the same time.
So this is what a millionaire’s white elephant gift exchange looks like.
Wait wait wait wait wait. You put modesty chairs over blurry paintings of das boobies to prevent people from seeing, essentially, a red dot, but you show these ladies* in all their glory?
I don’t get it. Oh wait. I do.
*For a given definition of “lady”
wouldnt the mermaids boobs hurt when you sat back int the chairs? otherwise you ‘d have to lean forward awkwardly all thru the meal or whatever….
my mind could not comprehend this house and its trappings. then i saw Miami.
OHHHHHH….Miami.
explained.
Ow