Included: washer, dryer, several corpses in the backyard. OH YES I’M ONE OF THOSE UPTIGHT AMERICANS WHO DOESN’T WANT CORPSES IN HER BACKYARD I KNOW YOU’RE ALL SO MUCH MORE ENLIGHTENED ABOUT CORPSES IN OTHER COUNTRIES AND WE’RE SO REPRESSED WHAT WITH THE “NO CORPSES PLEASE” THING GRAR RAR IN THE UK PEOPLE DON’T MIND CORPSES AT ALL THEY JUST STEP OVER THEM WHILE TEXTING ON THEIR PAY-AS-YOU-GO IPHONES AND THEY’RE ALL SO GROOVY AND THEIR BEER IS SO MUCH BETTER AND THEIR REFRIGERATORS ARE SO MUCH SMALLER AND SOMEHOW THAT’S A GOOD THING AND and and and maybe I’ve been spending a bit too much time in Internet discussions lately. Sorry. But I still don’t want corpses in my backyard.
Found By: Jacob
Loveliest comment, by Beatdown: I agree, why would you want that in your garden? Its disturbing and disgusting. I think its an Audi, I cant tell with those gravestones in the way.
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I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to live in a place like that!!
Me too!
Me three!
OMG!!!!!!
I want this so much – would have to move from the other side of Scotland, but you know, it would be so worth it. The corpses are probably quite friendly.
I want it, and I’d have to move from America. I truly don’t mind the corpses. What a great remodel!!
If you move to Balcarres Court, Edinburgh, you could buy a top floor apartment with a panoramic view of a graveyard. The apartments, face East, so you would get to see the shadows of the gravestones at dawn.
So you are a NCIMBY? No Corpses in My Backyard?
It’s for their sake. I like graveyards and gravestones and quiet neighbors, but my kids have a “digging hole” in the backyard — well, they’ve had four — they’re a bit obsessed with digging — and I don’t know how long a grave would stay peaceful if my family was around.
The bad news is, your house would be the first to get attacked in the zombie apocalypse. The good news is, the exterior walls are stone, so they’d have a much harder time actually getting in.
Actually according to Max Brooks cemeteries are the safest place during a zombie rising. Only the newly dead can come back as zombies, those in graves are far too rotted away. Plus, even if they could come back, they’d still have to break out of coffins and dig through many pounds of dirt. They’d never make it out before rotting away.
In a vampire apocalypse, however, you’d be f**ked. Those suckers can turn themselves into mist and just float out of their graves.
So is it just me, or do those trees look like scary faces with hair standing straight up?
T.M.I.
Too Much Imagination.
Although they do have a Bart Simpson knockoff feel
I think the trees look more like “Wilson” from the movie Cast Away.
Too obscure?
and it’s Veronica for the win! Good grief, that’s *exactly* what I was thinking they looked like!
Yeah Veronica nailed that one. I’ll try and pay better attention from now on.
Not scary but absolutely. I was thinking more along the lines of artichoke faces bubbling up in a vat of melted butter.
Do want. Do want, so very very badly.
Well, at least the neighbors are quiet.
Corpses make great neighbors! No wild parties, their dogs never leave gifts on your lawn, their kids don’t grow up to rob your house – oh wait, maybe that last one…
I’m an American and I can say with certainty that I am more terrified of those shrubs than I am of the corpses.
But why? They’re clearly smiling.
Quite right; there’s nothing at all terrifying about those two giant green Don-King-heads with rictus smiles just sort of keeping an eye on the place, day and night, night and day. Nothing at all.
They were apparently planted to guard the church from the creepy graveyard after the sun goes down, but they appear to be frozen in fear as if their hair were standing on end.
…and is it me or do those twin bed appear to belong to elves, or is the stained glass window in that room just humongous?
Perhaps we’re looking at this wrong. Maybe it’s a listing for vampires, trying to sell the cozy 6P2C (six plot, 2 cross) graves, and the house is the pesky, unwanted part that should have been left out of the picture. Consequently, taking the picture during the day would have been just another “creepy nighttime pic” to the intended viewers.
Even undead realtors screw up!
LOL
I agree, why would you want that in your garden? Its disturbing and disgusting. I think its an Audi, I cant tell with those gravestones in the way.
GOLD – best comment ever
Nice job on the interior! I’d live there, but this would be a perfect place for a fan of Halloween. the graveyard could actually make a nice flower garden – give the dead people a less boring place to RIP.
Hmmm… I wonder if there are any deceased relatives of Chair buried there. (Hint-hint.)
So that’s considered a garden? I would so love to live there. Beautiful conversion from church to residence.
I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.
And I’m very excited about the idea of having my own little cemetery. We had one just off campus at college, very old and therefore very cool. Just 5 graves at the top of a hill. I used to walk up there & sit & look down at the college. These don’t look quite that cool, but it’d still be fun.
There are corpses in my backyard. OK, they’re over the property line, but still. At least I know they won’t be hauling in trailers to house their 17 relatives, nor will they leave beer cans in my yard, or cigarette butts on my sidewalk.
Corpses make nice, quiet neighbours. Unless they don’t…
I want.
The immediate neighbours are as quiet as the grave there.
But that seems to be the way of life there in the quiet hamlet of Milton of Balgonie.
Even the name has a kind of cute-out-of-the-way-strange-coolness about it.
Although when the dead do walk, it’s so out of the way the emergency services will be miles away and no help at all.
They’ll just hear you screaming down the ‘phone before the call is cut off.
Well, at least you could say that your husband was buried in the backyard without arousing suspicion.
I wonder what it would cost to turn the baptismal font into a hot tub?
Wowee! I want to live here!!
But then, I live in England. Maybe that explains why I’d love a graveyard for a back garden
I bet it’s dead quiet (See what I did there… See it?… Yeah, I’ll shut up…)
I recgonise this house actually – it was on an English reality TV show a couple of years ago where contestants were given an initial investment sum and were to spend a year increasing that sum through property development – finding and buying a property to do up, improving it, selling it on and starting again on a bigger project.
This was done by a couple of women (IIRC one of them was in fact American) although they did mess up their budgets and didn’t take good advice on church conversion layouts from experts and people who had done it before – they went to look at other beautiful church conversions for inspiration, and then ignored the field trips completely lol. They didn’t win the series.
The interior is a bit of a turn-off for me. It’s lovely and all, but it doesn’t look like a church. It could be a McMansion stretched long, with fancy windows. I would want stonework and wood on the interior, and you know there had to be a lovely arched ceiling based on the tall steeples. Why have a two-story living room that has a flat ceiling? It just falls flat of what I would want to see in a historic building that has been so well-preserved on the exterior.
Two of the bedrooms have no closets, while two do. Armoires are fine, but it just seems odd in a new renovation.
I’m with you on the conversion. The outside is all atmosphere but the inside’s just an upscale, nice, unimaginative house.
In addition to the spiral staircase. there is also room for a stair with a landing, useful for carrying things (laundry, children), and other situations where a spiral could cause difficulty.
Thought I recognised this place. It had a lot of issues didn’t it? I thought they couldnt sell it because of it collapsing into the ground or something?
beside the dead people this place is beautiful and I would love to live there.
The bars on the windows are a nice touch.
Means that the grumpy undead can’t easily get into the house.
{edit}
The bars on the windows are a nice touch.
Means that the grumpy zombies can’t easily get into the house.
Nah, those are wood or lead solder strips. Zombies will go through them in no time.
Built in 1835? Why that’s practically a new build in Scotland when it comes to churches.
From ghosties and ghoulies and long legged beasties and things that go bump in the night, good lord preserve us — that’s how the saying goes, after all.
Chant that a few times, and move the heck in, because it is pretty darned awesome. It’s likely pretty darned haunted and all, but if you don’t mind a few spectral roommates? Sweet pad.
I love this house. There are at least 15 of here who agree. If we each threw in 2000 pounds (about $4000) we could buy it. It looks big enough to share, although the people who drew the short straws might have to curl up with the corpses at night.
maybe we could do it as a time-share sort of thing: everybody gets x number of weeks in it every year? (how many weeks/days/whatever depends on how many kick in the money)
300,000 pounds?!? That’s not a whole lot more than the bland built in the 80′s suburban houses in my neighborhood near Vancouver go for! Oh wait, “Offers Over” it says. Well, I do have some old Farthings around somewhere. Think one of those on top of the 300 thou would be enough?
Oh man, that is like my dream house!
This is one of the most beautiful church conversions I’ve seen, and you have to look at the plusses:
1) The neighbours will never have loud parties.
2) The swat team won’t be on your street, busting the grow-op next door (as they were on mine last month…)
3) They don’t care if your yard isn’t up to scratch.
4) Your children will be safe with them.
And the house itself should have been blessed multiple times, and hopefully there’s a cross or two still hanging around the place, so the vampires won’t really cause any problems for you. They will, however, be by far the best security force you could ever have.
Is it me, or is the remodel almost desperately bright and cheery?
As the Jacob in question, I have to agree. While I love the conversion, I don’t want to have a bumper pool kickabout in my garden. Also, my dog likes to dig.
Warning: Do Not Fill Hot Tub in sitting area more than half-full. Otherwise it sloshes over onto the floor.
If Poltergeist taught us anything, this will not end well.
They didn’t tear up the graves, Tom
That’s when the Big Bad starts Brewing. Putting in a Swimming pool would be out of the question. As are clown dolls, but then, clown dolls should be out of the question in almost all circumstances.
hmmm, perhaps that explains a few things: I grew up right next door to an old cemetery (burials began in 1690s, and nobody in there more recently than 1880s), plus I had a small clown doll collection…..
You don’t have to go all that far to get a house with corpses in the back yard. My Uncle’s house in New Hampshire came with the original burial ground of the family who built it.
As a ghosthunter and as someone with Scottish blood somewhere in me AND the fact I have ALWAYS wanted to live in a church, I’m praying I win the lottery tonight just so I can buy this place!!
Did it work?
Good heavens. I want that place. Very much. *history geek*
But, the seller would have to throw in some hefty tree trimming service coupons.
Oh wow. I really want that place.
Hmm. It reminds me of my grandmother’s house. She moved onto some land that used to be plantation area – they had knocked down the old plantation home to make way for new houses – and the graveyard of the former owners was in her back yard. It wasn’t until she was putting in a garden that she accidentally found the slaves graves (which had no markers other than some stones). There were a lot of corpses in that back yard.
It used to creep me out when I was little, but as I got older I grew to like them. Graveyards aren’t so bad. Its the ghost hunters and teenagers who come around on Halloween that are the real problem…the dead won’t bother ya, but the living sure will!