The screenshot is where it’s at. No, really. Go click on that little thumbnail down there. We’ll wait.
*sips tea*
Done?
“Just like childbirth”?!? How is this house “just like childbirth”? Is it the natural, oh, all I need is a deep breath and I’ll be fine kind of childbirth, or the unnatural (and my preferred method) #@@$#(%**!!$%, time for my epidural and bottle of gin kind of childbirth? Has the house had repairs in a place no needle should ever be? Is the house a very uncomfortable taxi ride away? Is the house amazingly sweaty?
Found by: Kelly
Loveliest comment, by Helen: It’s the big garage door. It was actually a letter box until House had to squeeze out a shed.
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Copy & paste this:
This ain’t Texas no more, sugar.
Maybe they were trying to convey just how messed up the backyard looks? Y’know, the kind of FUBAR one may enctounter in the down-under regions of a woman who just gave birth to a 12-pounder?
Whoops…
Seriously?!?!? Obviously written by a man! Sorry boys, but no woman would ever compare ANYTHING to childbirth!!
Yuh. This is one of the most asinine things I’ve ever seen. >:(
Ah, a delightful turn of phrase, guaranteed to make any woman run away screaming.
Even if I were enthralled with the layout and the idea of choosing the color scheme, I would always think of it as “the Childbirth House.” Not a fabulous place to visit, and I sure as #&%% wouldn’t want to live there!
Oh, and I love how the realtor concludes with, “Let’s make it happen to you!” I wouldn’t want to go with him to see the place; I’d be nervous about what he was planning…
I’m not sure every woman would want to run away screaming. Many a woman would wish to kick said realtor in the slats before taking flight.
Granted. But THIS woman would run away screaming. (Possibly “RAPE!” depending on how determined the realtor was to “make it happen to” me!)
It’s in New Zealand, not Texas, by the way (Aukland).
Yep, I was WONDERING about that tag, especially when I saw the price! I don’t think that house would go for close to $500k even in Austin. But New Zealand market and dollars, I suppose that’s a different story.
I think that was written by my 6th grade science teacher who made us watch an actual childbirth movie in class, gore and all.
After the film ended and we were all in shock, he was so excited that he was about to play it again.
Luckily we were saved by the bell.
well that’s one way to teach abstinence!
That could explain why I never had kids.
“Life is good. Let’s make it happen to you.”
I think the realtor should get loveliest comment.
It’s a private sale. There are no real estate agents involved.
Trademe is New Zealand’s equivalent to ebay.
And here I thought it was a phrase only a realtor could love.
Maybe they’re thinking about a career change and selling their own house on ebaylocal is a starting move before setting up their own estate agent business.
We can only hope!
Think of all the entertainment yet to come, if this is only their first attempt. Homes for sale compared with root canals, botox injections, colonoscopys and more! The possibilities are endless. And disturbing.
It is advertised by an agent though.
Well – construction was probably very inconvenient and curtailed other opportunities, finishing it was painful, contractors had to handle a lot of screaming, there were a lot of ugly by-products to be disposed of after delivery, the site was not returned to its former condition – and once they had the thing, they realized that the ownership experience wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, either. Luckily, it was a house: FOR SALE!
(Pretty much how mom described it, anyway.)
FTW!
Anyone else notice this baby is a little overdue?
It’s the big garage door. It was actually a letter box until House had to squeeze out a shed.
*golf clap*
They could have at least cleaned up all that afterbirth in the driveway.
Holy crap Helen your comment made me laugh so hard my OJ came out my nose. Seriously. Citrus in my sinus argh!
The garage looks like it’s dilated far enough. Oh look, there’s the shed!
Good thing they saw the shed first. A back porch sighting would have called out the breech brigade.
I chose to adopt a house that was already in the world.
And just like childbirth, it appears to come with an amazingly expensive hospital bill.
Anodean is the closest to getting this right. Among contractors, the average time for a large remodel is about 9 months, and it is full of a lot of pain, misery and most importantly, it is completely disruptive to your normal life. Pregnancy and major home remodeling are two of the most stressful events that occur in people’s lives – primarily because they take such a long duration during which your life is constantly up-ended.
Women who’ve passed a bowling ball may take exception to the metaphor, but it isn’t uncommon. Having lived through both from a male perspective, the analogy makes perfect sense to me.
Childbirth is like trying to poop a basketball, so I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to live in this house.
Yes! That’s exactly what giving birth was like! All the mess, the roof (ouch) and that first glimpse of your very own 3-bedroom brick veneer *sigh* … of course my kids are all mansions now and have moved away …
This house is a known consequence of sex? Man, the things I didn’t learn in health class just keep adding up.
Call it a Labor of Love, real estate dude. I mean, if nothing else the imagery you’re conjuring is…not the best marketing technique, shall we say?
I like how the value listed is more than a couple of hundred thousand dollars less than the price. That’s heartening.
In NZ the “ratable value” is actually the government valuation; the value the government alots to your house and will give you for it if they ever need to buy it for any reason (like constructing a motorway, etc.). It doesn’t take into account market rates, in fact it sits well below them, and houses here typically tend to sell for much more than their government valutions.
While it is a rateable value given (and would be land value only most likely given that the house is not fully enclosed yet) just to correct the misconception – if the government should compulsorily acquire your property for any reason in New Zealand they will be paying market value (plus and allowance for your inconvenience usually) The Rateable value is what the Councils use for assessing land taxes.
Oh! That might be the answer, maybe it was ‘labour of love’ via babelfish. Or one of those sentence-long brain farts and what they actually meant to type was “What a lovely house, don’t you want to buy it?”
“A creation taking place right in front of your eyes. The good thing is you are part of it and will grow with it and cherish it, all because you had a hand in its coming into existence.”
I can’t imagine giving birth to a house. It was hard enough to give birth to an 8 lb 4 oz infant who decided to show up 10 days late. But I would still prefer to raise a child than to raise a house. I cherish my now-adult daughter much more than I would ever cherish a house.
The house clearly has morning sickness, just look at the mess spewed over the driveway!
On a unrelated note, I saw Chair hanging out in an ally the other day with half a vacuum cleaner. Sadly, when I next passed with a camera on me, he had gone.
Vacuum was huddled against the wall, depressed at the loss of his friend.
Vacuums are hardy, athletic beasts though, I’m sure he was fine. I saw one up a tree years ago, swinging from the cable. Not sure if it was playing or committing suicide though. Either way, a popular spot as not long ago I saw a tv up in the same tree. And this is a big tree too, not one I’d choose to climb.
By the way, I love that there is only one tag for this post, and that it has no other associations because, yeah, “Labor” as a tag on a real estate blog, not something that happens everyday. Nor should it.
Makes perfect sense to me — this house was an unplanned accident. Someone is going to be responsible for it for at least the next two decades, otherwise the state will have to step in and if that happens, you can be sure the putz responsible for it pays!
Reminds me of the story of my sister–when deep in the waves of nauseatingly horrible gut wrenching throngs of childbirth–her husband leaned in and said, “oh come on. Settle down. It can’t be that bad.” Needless to say, he got a nice little backhand to the face that morning.
Comparing anything about a house to childbirth—must be a guy.
maybe it comes with drugs. lots of drugs.
Maybe they mean after a little “labo(u)r” it will be all done and better and wonderful? *is hopeful*
I know: it pooed itself.
ahaahaaa, doesn’t surprise me that the house is ‘out west’… that’s the kinda dodgy stuff you expect from westies, eh?
Is it just me or does the mud-strewn street and grotty grass on the other side look kind of, well, photoshopped? I can’t imagine why you would, but they just don’t look the same pixel quality as the rest of the photo. Very odd.
I just Googled the updated listing. It apparently does come with a remarkably fast-growing child.
Just like childbirth? Painful, messy, and sure to keep you awake, and broke for the next year?
Perhaps they were right!