I’m no engineer, but even I know this important rule: NEVER MAKE STRUCTURAL COLUMNS OUT OF COOKIES ‘N’ CREAM ICE CREAM.
Found by: Sigrid. And no, I don’t know why there’s been a stoner theme lately.
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Copy & paste this:
I’m so hungry now. When’s the open house? I will be there with a giant spoon!
The columns seem to surround some sort of topping, at least. Sundaes for everyone!
Boy that’s quite the domicile. I guess the owners saw a decorating mag that referenced “understated elegance” and that, “Let’s do the opposite of that!” , not that it is tacky, it’s actually not in most areas, it’s just HUGE.
*takes another look at the entrance…atrium/foyer/grand entrance*
‘kay, maybe more than a little bit tacky, in places.
I’m afraid the term that came to *my* mind was, “wretched excess”: good grief, this thing is so over the top it’s ridiculous! Really now: the pic of the extrance with the gold Rolls Royce placed so carefully?!?
If this is what the rich live like, I’ll stay tastefully poor!
Oh look! It’s a ball pit. Only with… um, rocks?
Awkward.
Balls deep, in love! Completely out of context, unless you watch The Cleveland Show.
Wow, 20,000 sq. ft. – which explains why the foyer has a giant compass on the floor so you can find your way around. Way too much for me, however, I think I want that pool.
It’s a 7,000 square foot house on a 20,000 square foot lot. Still, $1.9 million is quite the reach considering prices are dropping like a rock in that area.
“Being sold as is”–that’s kindof frightening for a 1.9 mill. house. Who the hell needs a 20,000 sq foot house too? For that matter, who the hell BUILDS a 20,000 sq foot house in 1974?! Not exactly a time of excesses back then. Curious.
This is like the “Through the Keyhole” quiz game – guess the person from a tour of the house. Anyone who is a CEO, property developer, actor, musician or sports player is going to have a place like this. I’d guess an actor or musician from the private fitness center, swimming pool. The study room would be useful for reading and signing contracts. It doesn’t seem to be the kind of room to relax in. The large kitchen and pool would be necessary for throwing parties.
I’d go for something/someone a little more “Dallas”-TV-showish: oil baron, new money, trophy spouse?
Can you read? The house is 7,000 square feet on a lot that is 20,000 square feet. Comprehension fail.
Was this some kind of group home for football players? Because that exercise room could fit 25.
I know, right? Were they fitness instructors? That’s not a home workout room for a family, even a big family. There are multiple machines…multiples of the same machine, it looks like.
Maybe they had ADD and were fitness enthusiasts? “I’m distracted, I’ll just finish my set over here.”?
Wait, I’m wrong. It’s just a factor of the mirror and having separate machines for different leg curls…which….
Yeah, you know the “sold as is” suggests that the seller is strapped for cash. I think I may have an idea as to why.
That kitchen is so big, it’s not useful. You’d spend 20 minutes schlepping dirty pots from the cooktop to the sink. Also, an oven in the vicinity would be nice. For 1.9 million, you’d think there would be two ovens, even.
(Personally, my dream kitchen is going to have two automatic dishwashers.)
You’re right. That’s very strange. Maybe it’s behind a cabinet door, or in the island?
Is it just me, or does it look like there is a big wooden chair over the stovetop in the kitchen?!?!
Silly..silly. These people don’t cook for themselves. That’s what the Vestal Virgins are for.
“Is it just me, or does it look like there is a big wooden chair over the stovetop in the kitchen?!?!”
Click to enlarge on that one, Faith. You’re dead right, there is a big wooden chair over the stovetop…but it’s a painting of a big wooden chair and table.
That doesn’t explain much, and raises the puzzling question of who thought that mural up, but that’s the gig and you can tell when you enlarge the photo.
I can’t locate an oven though. Must be in the island? I mean, they’ve got an oven? Or did they build an oven room that isn’t featured?
It’s hiding the smoke stains from the last time the cook left the rice to burn on the wok for too long?
I didn’t know Mt. Vesuvius is in Texas. Those columns aren’t cookies and cream. They’re Ben & Jerry’s Pompeii Pistacchio.
Okay, that’s a little over the top. I guess Trump would love it.
Love the exercise room!
Interesting. To me, everything in this house just looks grungy or even outright dirty, thanks to the colors and materials. Very, very expensively dirty.
What I don’t understand is why they felt they needed to use the stretchy wide-angle-y real estate photo trick on something that’s already GIGANTIC.
I wonder if they’ll throw in the Rolls if I can pay cash.
My whole house could fit in the entry way…
Chair’s rich counsins Wrought-Iron-Chairs are enjoying the afternoon lounging around on their private walled patio (image #7). But, being family, they have been kind enough to install square openings in the brick wall so that Chair can occasionally drop by & observe their cousins’ opulent parties.
Did anyone else notice that it has 9 bathrooms but only 4 bedrooms….
That was the first thing that I noticed! Insane! Between that and the tacky decor, I have to wonder if the person who had this built this was raised in a shack with an outhouse and made it big as a country music singer or an athlete,
In their best Scarlett O’Hara minute, they vowed, “As God is my witness, I will never go in an outhouse again!…oh, and I want lots of columns.”
Four bedrooms, four couples? Everyone gets their own bathroom and they keep a spare just in case?
When Dick Cheney moved out of the Vice President’s house, he and his wife moved into a custom-built house in McLean, Va: no kidding, the thing has four bedrooms and nine bathrooms.
I was thinking it’s ’cause he’s old and his prostate is giving him trouble…..
M-m-m-m…the foyer floors are inlaid with Heath bars.
I guess all that food–the ice cream columns, the floors inlaid with Heath bars–explains why a 4 bedroom home needs NINE freakin’ bathrooms!!! (Seven full and two half!) Who in the heck builds a four bedroom home with nine bathrooms? Does this person have a bladder the size of an ant?
Maybe “as is” means you must take the ugly furnishings as well. And I don’t understand the purpose of a 12 ft deep pool is you aren’t going to dive.
Maybe so you could still dive in from the side? Clearly having a twelve foot end is to allow for diving. The hilarious part? I guess these folks decided that an actual diving board would look tacky.
For some reason that thought really, really cracks me up.
If you were careful when biting noms out of the columns, it would be like a giant game of Jenga.
When I saw the exterior shot, my first thought was… “Welcome… To FANNNtasy Island…”
Apparantly, the owners of this home live in a fantasy world all their own.
And have lots of champagne wishes and caviar dreams…
“Smiles, everyone! Smiles!”
…oh, Mr. Roarke, I miss you. *snif*
I didn’t know Hugh Hefner had a house in Texas! or, maybe Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker built here. TTTTTacky with foot high neon letters!
Only trouble with this house is that it’s located high in the arctic, so it doesn’t melt. Other than that, it is literally delicious.
Om nom nom nom nom nom…
This house was built and remodeled to make the owner think he/she was rich, overly done. It’s obvious they are flat broke, as that HUGE wine cellar had absolutely NO wine in it!
i would like to answer sigrid’s question, you know the person who found this… see stoners don’t move. thats why there hasn’t been any stoner posts. they find a place then never move unless forced. oh and usually they are renters, some do own. but never move, its too much to do. find a new place, sell the current, pack and move, unpack, settle in, now we lost the weed and 2 bongs! nobody knows where we live, all the stoner friends get lost trying to find the new place. i can say this because i am a stoner, i’ve thought of moving and buying a new place since even with the market in the dumps, my place is still worth more than i paid, its just too much of a hassle…
we stoners prefer not to move,
oh and weed is legal in CA with a prescription
House is being sold for $1.9 million, and the realtor’s website has a “walk score” for the house/neighborhood which lists the nearest bus line, as well as walking distance to the nearest Starbucks.
(falls over laughing on that one)
Dang, it took a while for this page to open for me. My browser was like, “You know, there is just too much &#!+ going on in these photos. I can’t handle it.”
Sorry, that wasn’t my question. Must have come from the LOLverlords… But thanks all the same!