For in that listing of houses what photos may come,
When we have wrapped up this mortal coil,
Must give us the correct time.
(My new lolcat overlord, lollerderby, wrote the headline for this. She’s concerned that it’s too subtle. To make her feel better, I have poured soup over my tie gotten even more cryptic. And ridiculous.)
Found By: Zoe
Loveliest comment, by SM: How can you eat at a time like this!
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At first, I was confused as to how the last picture connected with the title… and then I realized: THERE ARE AT LEAST SEVEN CLOCKS IN THAT ROOM. I wonder if they’re all set to the exact same time? And what if one happens to be slower than the rest? How does the owner cope?!
How can you eat at a time like this!
Dufrane, party of two. Dufrane, party of two?
Old Time, in whose banks we deposit our notes
Is a miser who always wants guineas for groats;
He keeps all his customers still in arrears
By lending them minutes and charging them years.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes
(First!
)
I get it!
In that third photo, I can’t help but hear the intro to Pink Floyd’s “Time”.
Oh, I love that song!
I count 25 clocks, but I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that there are no sundials in the garden.
I contend that the patio itself is a huge sundial with the obelisk functioning as its gnomon.
The third room would give me nightmares for the rest of the year. All those clocks ticking and staring at you. D: D:
This listing is making me more nervous than any of the ghostly or crime-ridden ones. There is something spectacularly creepy about that many clocks and extension cords carefully wrapped around the necks of dog statues and chair legs.
Ok… so I was so busy looking for something coiled in the last picture I missed all the clocks completely – which is freaky. But I did notice *this*.
The way the photographs are framed, there is a circle in the middle of each picture. The rug, the patio table, and the rug under the dining room table.
These are totally acid-trip, Hellraiser, nightmare quality surreal.
Naturally, this house is a bit of a trip. After all, itcomes with 25 bongs…
I just know I am going to have Super Mario nightmares about being trapped inside a clock and having to jump from gear to gear trying to find my way out, all the while being attacked by giant spring coils.
I don’t know whether it’s the picture or the room itself (in the 3rd one), but it looks kind of claustrophobic to me… And the combination of that modern computer chair with the rest of the room in the first picture (especially with the dog) is also very… interesting… But from my experience, it’s surprising how many people actually like something like this
One should never treat statues as carelessly as this person does the dog statue… they might come to life in the night.
Anyone else notice that in photo of the library the only title readable is a two volume set of very thick books entitled “HITLER”?
oh yeah: my first thought was, ‘sweet! I do love a library!’
second thought? ‘but the only titles I can read say….. Hitler……’
Maybe it’s the book collection of whoever it is that comes up with the programing for “The History Channel.” Where every show that isn’t about Hitler is about Nostradamos. Or the Pharoahs.
You assume it is a statue, I think it is a very well trained attack dog that will not only pretend to be a statue right up until you are very close, but can also throw a mean lassoo to catch any intruders while they run away.
the clocks wouldn’t be nearly so bad if they’d only get rid of all the cheesy gold plaques and cherubs they have ALL OVER this house….. squeezed high and low, dotted between framed pictures, EVERYWHERE.
oh yeah, also: their taste in bedside lamps is atrocious!
In the second picture, that is not an electrical cord! It is a starter cord for your own personal lawn-furniture-copter!
Everyone get in a chair! Okay, now I’m going to pull the cord! Keep your hands down! The table will spin, making the umbrella flap, and you will all go flying gracefully around the yard. Ready?
*zzzzzzzziiiipppp*
*whoosh* *whoosh* *whoosh*
There! Now wasn’t that fun?
for the win!!!
Call me immature, but I couldn’t help a little snicker at a real estate agent named L. J. Hooker having a motto “Nobody does it better.” Kind of makes sense of those bedside lamps.
Wow. This must be the house of some wannabe low-rent cousin of Tony Soprano with both bad taste and dreams of dressing to impress! Sure, that seems like an oxymoron at first, but follow with me — it’s all encrusted fake gold on top of mock lacquerware plastic with faux crystal accents and machine-cut moulding on veneered particleboard with plaster statuary alongside injection-molded resin imitation wrought-ironwork. It’s all of the flash of the desperate to impress nouveaux riche but owned by someone who doesn’t actually have all that much money. And no sophistication. Not even the Jersey kind.
You lost me at mock lacquerware …
I was sure this house was in Vegas. Guess not!
where is the egyptian mummy, we are curious about its lineage
I’d never move in here; it’s infested with ticks.
Aagh!
*flees*
HAHAHA
The sad thing is, the owner tries to impress us with all those clocks but in fact, even if the outside is a true antique with real gold, it wouldn’t cost much if the clock (the gear and mechanics) is new or replaced. This drives the value of the clock into the ground. And I can assure you, if all those clocks had their original gears, The owner could afford more than a one story in a hell-hole suburb.
UGH. I rented a room from a guy who collected clocks and had them hanging all over the place. Tick tick tick everywhere. They weren’t even antique–just sh*tty clocks all over.
My Grandfather collected Anniversary Clocks, probably had 20 or 30 in the living room They were all set to different times… on purpose! He liked to listen to them chime, and if they all went off together it wasn’t nearly as much fun! On the other hand, there was a clock chiming just about every five minutes or so.
After his death, each of the Grandchildren and Great-grandchildren got to chose a clock to remember him by… I keep mine in the kitchen.
Oh My God that’s in my city… and the owner, a high level bureaucrat, who is selling became instantly famous (or infamous) for lying about an email to our Prime Minister regarding campaign funds (or something… politics bores me). Just google Godwin Grech (the seller) or “utegate” (the stupid name the media gave the whole thing.
I don’t even wear a watch (too judgemental…you’re late…really late…extremely late…OMG SO LATE!) However, this listing proves once again that money cannot buy taste.
I don’t wear a watch either. Just a bracelet that’s inscribed with the words, “Hurry the #@&% Up!”
All I can hear is the Chambers brothers playing “Time has Come Today”.
OMG those french ormolu clocks are worth a bloody fortune! Fugly, yes; but if they are the real deal (and my amateur clock collector eye says yes), then this guy is sitting on a goldmine- maybe literally.
As I said before, If the original clockwork is not there or even if it has been cleaned and some parts replaced, The value will forever diminish. So, although they look expensive, I am almost 100% sure that either the clockwork is missing or new.
Plus I’m pretty sure gold plating was used and not fire-gilting.
I feel pretty sure that Salvador Dali was their decorator; and if the AC ever goes off, those clocks will start melting. I do like the Doberman used as an antenna; and the Hitler books; they definitely up the ante in the creepiness sweepstakes. I think the trees were planted in concrete so they can be used as sundials.
ironically, the person who was selling this house was the instigator in one of Australia’s more recent political scandals.