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Archive for April, 2010

Second Anniversary Contest! Now with Robots!

Apr. 30, 2010

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Two years! It’s been two years! Two years of this blog! Two years and I’m still househunting, which is just pathetic. But my pitiable situation is your win, and not just in an “epic win” sense, but as in someone will WIN!

What will they win, you ask?

A ROBOT.

A ROBOT THAT WILL CLEAN YOUR FLOORS.

A ROBOT THAT STOPS YOUR HOUSE FROM LOOKING LIKE A LOVELY LISTING ENTRY.

A ROBOT MADE BY A COMPANY THAT MAKES ROBOTS THAT DO UNDERWATER MILITARY SURVEILLANCE (note: that is not the model being given away).

No, not Yoyo — a Roomba! Want to win it? Please take the following easy steps.

1. Look at the photo below.

2. Head on over to Shelter Pop and explain what is happening in the photo. This is a contest of skill, not luck. Humor counts; factuality does not.

3. Check back on Tuesday and see if you won.

4. ROBOT ROBOT ROBOT.

I’m so excited about this it’s ridiculous, but come on, it’s a Roomba! The top of the line, take no prisoners Roomba! I’m not paid to endorse the robots; I really like them. I have a bare-bones Roomba and a Scooba that, sadly, doesn’t do underwater surveillance. This is a fancy new one with “anti-tassel technology,” plus it’ll clean up kitty litter. Maybe I should post an identifying photo to stop myself from stealing it and sending the winner my old one… here, behold the ANTI-TASSEL ROBOT, also known as the Roomba Pet Series 562:

This robot wants to clean your house

Go! Go enter! Be amusing! Good luck!

Original listing found on For oss som fascineres av bildene på Finn.no.

(Sorry, no comments on this post while the contest is going on. Enter on Shelter Pop, not here.)

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Call the exterminator (boom twacka thwaka thwacka boom)

Apr. 29, 2010

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funny real estate Where Pin-Up Girls Live

Yup, you’ve got some kind of infestation here. I’m guessing the nekkid ladies are living in the basement and are coming out of the gaps between the floorboards at night. It’s pretty impressive that the real estate agent got a photo; as normally they scurry away as soon as the light comes on.

Try some traps or poison, but jeeze, good luck, those things are tenacious — I hear nekkid ladies are the only thing that’ll survive a nuclear war.

Found By: Lori

funny real estate Where Pin-Up Girls Live

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NFSWednesday bonus house, now with extra neck

Apr. 28, 2010

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Who could live here? Why make a house in a converted water tower?

It’s tall! So very tall. So tall one must scroll down and down and down…

Clearly there is only one possible explanation. Here, let me show you with my excellent Photoshop skills:

Ahhh… now all is clear.

Found by Kristyn.

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NFSWednesday: Prog House

Apr. 28, 2010

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Funny Real Estate - Hobbiton
Funny Real Estate - Hobbiton

Funny Real Estate - Hobbiton

More Not For Sale Wednesday delights! This one was designed by Roger Dean, who also did all those Yes covers and their logo and also a chair that was so complicated he got a patent on it. Oh, and he made the pods that people sit in in the movie A Clockwork Orange right before OHMYGOD WHY DID I WATCH THAT CLIP OH YOUTUBE YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO ANSWER FOR anyway sorry. Let’s move back to the comfy little round house. So round! So comfy! I shall retreat to it, far from the hideousness of the droogs in their milkbars…
Found by: Becki

P.S. This Friday’s post is going to be awesome in a whole different way… a way involving robots. And deadlines. And a test of skill. I recommend that you read it.
Funny Real Estate - Hobbiton

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Maybe the elevator has a surprisingly low weight limit

Apr. 27, 2010

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Funny Real Estate - Weigh Yourself At The Door

Lovely Listing’s fashion tips! Every day before you go out, check in the mirror that your hair is properly arranged and your makeup is just so. Then weigh yourself. More than three pounds above or below your ideal weight? Stay home, just stay home.

Found by: Annie

Loveliest comment, by Anodean: Well, here’s another “No wonder they’re leaving!” listing : something *deeply troubling* clearly emerges from the ventilation system grill just above the scales on a regular basis.

The homeowner has arranged for reflected light – *bronze tinged* reflected light, from special bronze-backed mirrors – to shine upon it at all times. If the intrusion comes at night, when this measure may be somewhat compromised by lack of natural light, anything stepping upon the scales will clearly activate the stereo system in the wall above to deliver pre-set backup defense at volume.

Works fine, as the lack of stains and damage shows; they’re just sick of listening to the BeeGee’s in the middle of the night.

Funny Real Estate - Weigh Yourself At The Door

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Sweetheart Cottage

Apr. 26, 2010

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Funny Real Estate - Sweet Heart Cottage
Funny Real Estate - Sweet Heart Cottage

Funny Real Estate - Sweet Heart Cottage

This house would definitely be on my “actually I think this is awesome” list, if it weren’t for the wee problem of the doors being placed at random heights on the walls. I’m picky that way.
Found by: Jen

Loveliest comment, by GinGin: “The “Sweetheart Cottage” is a brand new custom home nestled in an enchanted forest with singing frogs”

Hello my baby, Hello my honey, Hello my ragtime gal…

Funny Real Estate - Sweet Heart Cottage

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Very Open Plan

Apr. 25, 2010

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Funny Real Estate - Hot Tub Room

Sleep in the bathroom! Bathe in the sleeproom! It’s all good.

Found by: kmarie

Loveliest comment, by LMA: I guess this is just an extension of the whole “open floor plan” craze — this house has an “eat-in kitchen” and a “bathe-in bedroom.” Soon to follow will be the “park-in living room” the “toilet-in media room” and the “home office-in nursery.” Before you know it, we’ll be back to the medieval model of having one big room, no partitions, serving as kitchen, parlor, bedroom, stable and chicken house. Trend-setters will be sniffing their noses at the idea of walls and privacy. The “New Housewives of Las Vegas” (or where ever) will be dissing one another behind their backs about how one of them is so impoverished they don’t butcher their pheasants right next to the bed and how shocked they were when a husband excused himself to use the toilet instead of pulling out a chamber pot right there at the table! Quel declasse!

Funny Real Estate - Hot Tub Room

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