“NSFW?” you say. “What is so Not Safe For Work about Lovely Listing, other than the fact that I shouldn’t be reading blogs at all when my manager thinks I’m compiling workplace impact solutions with social networking in my Outlook spreadsheet?” But no, no, not NSFW. NFSW. Not For Sale Wednesday.
Some people haven’t liked me sneaking in non-listing houses, but I can’t resist because there are so many good freaky houses out there that the homeowners refuse to put on the market for the sake of my blog (selfish bastards). So I’m going to corral them into one day. Your daily Lovely Listing schedule now goes like this:
Sunday:listing
Monday: listing
Tuesday: listing
Wednesday: Not For Sale Wednesday
Thursday: listing
Friday: listing
Saturday: Chairtuday! All Chair, all the time!
So let’s get down to our first NFSW: ta dah!
What is that there, over on the left? It isn’t… it isn’t the toilet, is it?
Oh, my. Yes, it is. I don’t think I could function there. I need a nice solid door with a lock if I’m going to use the toilet, even when I’m alone in the house. My need for la vie privée dans la salle de bains is the only thing that’s kept me out of the military. Well, that and my absolute lack of interest in being in the military, but anyway. Am I crazy for thinking the toilet really shouldn’t be quite so on display?
I am not the only uptight person. This woman has chosen to find a more secluded “little reading room,” if you know what I mean. And you do. And you regret it.
Found by: Anon (via Apartment Therapy)
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i hate to say it, but the MOST disturbing pic is left out – the one where you see that the bathroom is fully visible from the kitchen, complete with kitchen table. cause, you know, that’s what you want to encounter while eating, right?
I gasped out loud (GOL) when I saw that. Um, lemme think… NO!
Yuh, I was thinking this exact thing! Maybe we Americans are too uptight. Maybe we should be like the Japanese and put our buns on display. And that’s like, a table for 6? Eight?! Just because there are only 4 chairs means NOTHING.
Truly bizarre. Altho I love all the plants. I’d want to put some animals in there too.
Picturing the dialogue between two Japanese designers:
“Yoko, you’re a genius! So modern, so elegant. The Americans will love it.”
“I don’t know, Sushi. Perhaps they will think it is too stark and modern. Americans, they have these strange ideas about color.”
“Hmmm… I know, Yoko! Show the property with a dungareed child reading a book and swinging her legs over a ledge. It will evoke the nostalgia for the log cabin porch and make the Americans feel Warm and Fuzzy.”
“Genius, Sushi. Pure Genius.”
Picturing the continued dialogue:
“One more thing, Sushi. If we are going to drive this sale home to the Americans, let’s not let your niece, Sashimi, do the painting this time. Remember what happened to the last house just because you couldn’t say no? http://uglyhousephotos.com/wordpress/?p=10770 “
I think that’s a teenage boy up there, not a woman, but I agree with you. A place like this would make me expect to see a giant face looking in on me every now and then, as if I were a pet in a terrarium.
I want to yell, in my best mom voice: “Get down off that ledge right this instant, young lady….”
That boy/woman/child is probably only pretending to read a book. Its not obvious from that photo, but if you think about the house overall you’ll realize that the person has good visibility to whomever is on the toilet.
I’m just going to pretend that in such a hi-tech house, the glass in the bathroom walls (?!?) is privacy-sensitive, and turns opaque whenever someone enters the room! Yes, that makes me feel MUCH better…
I HOPE so. But occupied or not, I don’t want to view the toilet while I’m trying to enjoy my dinner.
Or that the outer set of panels are polarized 90 degrees from the inner set, so both have a view of the intervening room, but not the room beyond.
But since we can see the tub through both the near and far glass, such is not the case. Back to hoping for electro-reactive opacifying glass.
Then there are those public bathrooms where the walls are opaque from the outside but transparent from the inside.
so this is an office design? OMG
all that glass, imaging cleaning all that glass ::faints::
And apparently the only place in the house comfortable enough to sit is on that ledge.
The site with the other pictures is called “Suppose Design Office.”
Yes, indeed. Now, “Suppose Design Bathroom Without Audience.” How about working on that?
inteereesstiinggg…….
i’m hoping it is for a single person or a couple. even if it was privacy glass.
at least they have a American toilet. not the traditional squat toilet that is still common in many areas of Japan.
Well, at least they offered a tree to hide behind while you’re in the bath. Just stand very, very still.
Given the freakiness of this house, I’m wondering if the ledge is the bedroom.
This is the bathroom of my nightmares.
This is listed in “Apartment Therapy”.
What kind of therapy, exactly?
Therapy designed to help you get over your silly phobia about being watched while engaging in ‘activities’?
Someone will buy this though. Someone designed it and someone will buy it. (Not me …)
I’m not going to lie, I totally want the ledge in some of the later pictures. What an awesome place to read!
I don’t understand exactly what this is, though. It says it’s an office, but I’ve never seen an office with a bathtub. Clearly Japan offers luxuries that my company doesn’t.
Not recommended for someone who often nods off to sleep while reading. Or someone who likes to host dinner parties.
Ah, a metal box in a lot full of rocks.
*twitch*
Just what I was looking for!
*twitch*
Much better than my last “therapy”.
*twitch*
I refuse to live in a house that makes me feel like a pet turtle.
Speaking of turtles, where’s Gamera?
I kind of like some of his designs but the exposed bathroom is a reoccuring thing in many of his homes. What’s up with that man??? Me thinks the designer has a bit of a fetish?
Or lots of stock in Windex.
How do you get from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor? I don’t see stairs in any of the photos & the tree is not big enough to climb. I know, there’s a rope ladder! I agree with Angel, not only NO but H**L NO!
The stairs are at the end opposite the bathroom. You can see them on the right in the 6th picture.
All that kid needs is a fishing pole and a koi pond under him.
There have been several listings lately featuring big conspicuous holes through floors.
Is it about time to introduce a “warning: no banister” tag?
You should post the best picture! The one that shows that the terrarium bathroom is next to the kitchen/dining room. That one could sit down to a lovely meal while watching a friend piss.
I love the idea of a a “no listing” day (though I agree with Vivian about the questionable acronym). It’s like how Cake Wrecks, which features poorly made professional cakes the other six days of the week, has really well-made cakes on Sunday. I think if you have a Site that has posts every day, a change one day a week is actually kinda nice.
Besides, in this case, it’s still weird houses, so whether or not they’re actually on the market is, imo, kinda irrelevant.
Like the old saying goes, “The family that displays together stays together”. Or something like that.
I’m not a fan of Glade but those plants have to be the most passive air freshener system ever.
Two words:
Thirteen Ghosts
If you look at all the architect’s work, it quickly becomes evident s/he’s a truly out-of-the-box thinker. Wait, no, I guess a box-in-box (in box) thinker. So much open space! So much open space rendered _completely useless_ by being enclosed in glass or pierced by a gaping hole! So rare and fresh a perspective in a country where wasted space is so costly….
There’s a “Does a bear shit in the woods?” joke in there somewhere, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I thought of that too, but my first comment didn’t.
The second one also said “awaiting moderation.”
Let’s see what this one does.
It awaited. Weird. I’ll poke around under the hood and see if I can put you on some “not evil” list.
Ha ha, thanks! Don’t know what I did to anger the Blog Police.
So many things wrong! Besides the lack of privacy, there’s a ton of wasted space full of rocks- just what I want to fill my house with. Also: there are WINDOWS in this house!! So it’s not only the people in the house with you that can see you doing your business, it’s the construction workers next door as well. And then there’s the lovely reading location- oops, I just fell on those wonderfully sharp rocks. Yikes. Yep, this is a nightmare house to me.
And this in a country that had to install devices in public bathroom stalls that simulate the sound of a toilet flushing when you push a button because people were wasting too much water flushing the toilet to cover the SOUND of their efforts!
I never have dreams about going to school or work naked, but I do sometimes have dreams where I have to go to the bathroom and can’t find a toilet stall. I’ll find rooms full of toilets lined up in a row, or toilets with picture windows in front of them. It’s awful.
That said, I do not think I could use the toilet in this apartment(?), ever!
Clearly this house was designed by my cat, who thinks she can hide behind a tree that is 1/3 the width of her body (if I can’t see you, you can’t see me). Tree next to potty, perfect. Tree next to bath, perfect. Little skinny ledge with bird statue for resting and plotting evil plans – perfect!
Yes, but she’ll be drinking from the toilet, not using it. I bet she puts the litter box somewhere private.
Suggestion:
Instead of NFSW, how about NFSWednesday?
I suppose that would be the sensible thing to do…
I know…
watching a great creation of yours slowly transform itself against your will to appease the masses from confusion and their eventual eruption into chaos does sting the heart a little.
I’ll always have my memories of those beautiful few hours when it was just “NFSW.”
Or you could just leave it. They’ll figure it out eventually.
also, this is NOT the only Japanese house where the bathroom is open to view. there was one on Extreme Homes on HGTV. and that one. the bathroom was a lil higher than the rest of the house. by about 3 feet higher than the main floor. it too had glass walls. and the owner of the house wanted it that way. though at least if I remember. he had curtains installed. not too sure on that bit
I saw this in Dwell magazine… interesting… I liked the indoor atrium idea… I might not want this exact layout, but it does give me ideas…
Ok, it’s bad enough envisioning living here. But pity the poor dinner guest who asks to use the facilities….
I wonder if the toilet waters and fertilizes the plants?
I was quite frightened about what could be Not Safe for Work in a housing listing. I was [s]kind of[/s] scared to click. So, count me among those that didn’t notice the letter reversal.
When i first saw this i thought it looked like where they shot the music video for something deep inside (by billie piper)