Hi there! Or, as we say in French, hey baby, c’est quoi en français?
This listing has more intriguing photos than I can put up here. There’s a door with a towel shoved under it, behind which I presume someone is attempting to kill themselves (but I hope they brought a book, because the stoves are electric). One room is all done up and fancy with a big TV, while other rooms are depressingly squalid. There are piles of things everywhere, but the building also looks clean and well tended to… except where it isn’t. And then there’s our man of mystery lounging on the daybed, above. Pourquoi?
I shall use my little gray cells and try to determine what is going on.
Found by: Aurelie
-
-
Copy & paste this:
I wonder, does the dude come with the house???
Great decorating!! Arm chairs in the kitchen, I think, and razor wire on top of the garden wall, nice touch!!! Lots of skylights too. Another great fixer-upper opportunity..
Boom-chicka-wah-wah…NOT!
The razor wire separates this house from the large “Domaine Royal” where lives the royal family.
So we’re trying to keel the royal family OUT?
I wish I knew how to give myself a less angry looking face. I really am a very plesant person, and not green at all.
Same here, only I always look anxious and orange.
Hee! I really AM anxious and orange.
(Damn’ self-tanner! Do I look all right?)
Lemme get this straight — the French are supposed to be all about cooking and great food right? But now it’s revealed that a typical French kitchen consists of a a single slab of formica, a small electric range, a sink, a toilet, no cabinets and no fridge, and that a typical French cook is an overweight, slovenly individual with a chester-molester mustache, splay out in a come-hither pose that would turn the stomach of a starving wo/man. Yeah, take out at Chipolte’s is looking better and better all the time …
That’s why they spend all their time in bistros, cafes and other restaurantalia.
They don’t need fancy kitchens. They use their magic powers! O.O
This isn’t in France, it’s in Belgium, which explains everything.
I think that’s the fridge on the right in the picture with the green ladder stairs coming down from the fancy TV room.
I hate to admit it — but this is Brussels, Belgium, not France. I don’t live so far away from it. Soooooooooooooo many ads here look this bad. And much of the real estate, too, oddly enough. Sigh…..
Do you know the dude on the couch?
What’s French for “charming fixer-upper!”?
“Le merdehole?”
That guy? I’m going to guess Jacques, though fixing him’s probably going to be more trouble than it’s worth.
Uh, where exactly is Pierre’s hand? Never mind. Don’t answer that.
In his pocket, Silly!
Uh … well … maybe not …
Even in the fancy room with the big TV, the light fixture appears to be a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling!
In an attempt to attract the astute female market (and some males), Uncle Pierre posed on the daybed in his best casual outfit and his “You too can live in comfort and style” demeanor.
It’s the same come-hither approach that he used in disco bars in the 70′s.
Pierre? The dehydrated French (or Belgian) man?
The windows should never have tried white mascara before going out in the rain.
Well, it’s a “Maison bi familiale ou rapport”, which, if my French serves me, is a house for bisexual families with rapport. So that settles it.
The suicide door is clearly a result of someone having viewed the ‘yard’. I swear, one look at that depressing, damp square, full of random junk, rotting chairs and a pillow made me want to hang myself.
My French is not that great, but I think (with a little Google translation help) that “Maison bi familiale ou rapport immeuble a apartements a vendre” means “Two-family home or investment property with apartments to sell” or something along those lines: so I would guess that the current owner (or his agent) is in the process of moving out the (apparently not too cooperative) tenants. It’s possible the tenant of the room w/ the badly-painted white door has somehow managed to snuff himself, but more likely the “towel” is a drop cloth that was being used to keep paint off the floor until the painter gave up (and possibly snuffed HIMself.)
Yup, that’s basically what the title says. But the description in the ad itself states that there are 4 apartments, which fits with the 4 teeny tiny bathrooms. That explains the widely divergent looks. The building probably started life as a one or two family dwelling and was put through a disasterous renovation.
I think the door towel-thingy is probably to keep out either the sounds or the smells of the other tenants (or both).
Or to keep the pet python in.
Wee! An Agatha Christie reference! Could this blog be more fun?
Maybe the guy is Hercule Poirot’s ne’er-do-well great-nephew. (Or is it grandnephew?)
LOVE Hercule and caught the reference too! FABULOUS!!! My first thought was “NOOOOO!! My DEAR Hercule!! How far you have fallen!!” but I would be ever-so-relieved if it was a ne’er-do-well relative… a DISTANT, REALLY distant, ne’er-do-well relative…
Easy… show some understanding. The owner was eager to sell, but the realtor wrecked his camera and asked the owner for pics. Who came up with his “before and after complete make-over” compilation of unsorted, unnamed jpegs.
Jumbled together on a ten year old scratched CD stored on the windowsill, planned to be THE feature of his big “I’m better than those TV-makeover-crews all on my own even if it took me 4 years to finish” website.
Which never launched. BUT he has 38 versions of it somewhere.
And the towel stopped the spray forming while he was pressure washing the bathroom from ruining his freshly plastered drywall and the hand-painted bannisters!
And you should see a recent pic of Pierre – those 4 years took a lot of weight off him (added 10 years to his age though).
Have pity and show some respect – he’s not Helen Keller, you know!
/sarcasm
me thinks the gentleman is of the gypsy persuasion, which may explain his reluctance to vacate the sofa. he’s probably been forcibly vacated one too many times before.
Looks like most of Baltimore.