By: Not Sara, Sorry
Is your fence a mere two feet from your exterior wall? Do you like the look of full, lush planters but not the fuss? Fakey fakey fake it!
Found by: Unknown
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Archive for February, 2011
Planters For the Dimensionally Challenged
Feb. 28, 2011
Fuxor Upper (Part II)
Feb. 28, 2011
Sometimes a man and a woman love each other very much. And they love lots of other men and women too. And those people all like to have a big house to have their special parties (with hot breakfasts!) in. And then the nice police officers notice that some 7,000 people a year are going to those special parties and they make them stop.
But even the owners of sex clubs sometimes need home loans, and appraisers go out to take photos and make their reports. And those reports wander from desk to desk…
Meanwhile here’s me, wondering if I can write off my computer monitor as a work expense since I use it for blogging in my home (and only) office but I also use it when I’m just poking around on the Internet. But isn’t “poking around on the Internet” my job? Is there a standard occupational code for that? (“Laborers, Hand” perhaps, or “Shill”?) How about running a sex club in your kitchen; does Form 8829 still apply?
(Part I was here.)
Loveliest comment, by Anodean: From the appraiser’s report:
Property may be more difficult to rehab than most distress offerings. The pink-spotted apparition manifesting over the laundry basket in the bathroom is clearly reflected in the mirror, which requires a “Severely Infested” rating. This issue will require evaluation by a certified hazardous removal professional, but be advised that the required remediation will likely entail burning the property and sowing the ground with salt, for which permits are required.
Or, “Do the tentacles convey?”
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I’ll Take it if the Bieber Stays
Feb. 27, 2011
No, no! You’re supposed to neuteralize the decor before you put the house up for sale! Not neuter it! HA HA GET IT BECAUSE JUSTIN BIEBER ISN’T MACHO. Not like the teen hearthrobs of the past, when 13-year-old girls really appreciated hairy-chested manly men.
Found by: Anna
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Chairturday! Chair Explores the Simpler Life
Feb. 26, 2011
Hurray! Chair is coming with me! We got a little convoy, blogging through the night…
Found by: Robyn
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Chairturday! Fuxor-Upper
Feb. 26, 2011
Oh dear, Chair. What sort of “family room” is this? Have you stepped out for a smoke between dances? We worry, Chair.
To be continued…
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Only One Way Down
Feb. 25, 2011
By: Not Sara, Sorry
In my house there would be a big blue stripe down the middle of this slide from my jeans. No matter how many times I wash the damn things the ink keeps bleeding! Stupid slide staining butt.
Found by: Unknown
Via: thedailywh.at
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Ow! Ma Tête! Ow!
Feb. 25, 2011
Pictured in this caution-low-headroom kitchen, according to the listing:
Eat-in
Wooden floor
Stove
Refrigerator
Microwave oven
Toaster
Kettle
Coffee-maker
Closet
Cookware
Which isn’t shabby, considering the entire apartment is roughly the same size as a minivan (or, as they say in France, un mïnîvan). But it lacks a certain flair. Oooh… wait… let’s read it in its original French:
Kitchenette
Parquet
Plaques de cuisson
Réfrigerateur
Four micro ondes
Grille pain
Bouilloire élèctrique
Cafetière
Placard
Vaisselle
Ooh la la! But wait a sec. “kitchenette” is French? Are Raisinettes actually a traditional French bonbon? Do les filles et les garçons put rockettes in their shots du sling?
Found by: me
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All About Us!
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People Are Talking
Subliminality on It’s a Feature! Cherokee on Ye Olde Fixer Upper pepperjackcandy on Pretty Patterns Emerald63 on Ye Olde Fixer Upper Emerald63 on Bookcase of the Day: Nestled… Print on Demand
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