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Archive for the 'Australia' Category

Do I Get to Demand Your First Born Child?

Sep. 10, 2010

funny real estate - Do I Get to Demand Your First Born Child?

“I can produce more photos on request,” says the listing. Thank you, but no. We’re fine.
Found by: David

EDIT: Yes, it’s an unflattering photo. Let’s not be mean, though, okay?

Loveliest comment, by silliyak: Apparently she can produce more than photos on request.
funny real estate - Do I Get to Demand Your First Born Child?

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Can’t Sleep, Birds Will Eat Me

Aug. 24, 2010

funny real estate - Can't Sleep, Birds Will Eat Me

Imagine you were a real estate agent. Now imagine that you, in your role as a real estate agent, had a house to sell. This house has, in your own words, a “2 bedroom terrace a great option for buyers and investors… Separate lounge & dinning… Gourmet Kitchen… 1 bathroom… Internal laundry… Private courtyard.”

You’re putting together your listing, and it’s time to pick the photos. For some reason the only interior photo you pick is one that shows Tweetie Bird after Tweetie Bird. Tweetie Birds of various sizes and medium. Maybe a misshapen orange Tweety Burd as well, too.

My question is: why? Why this one? Will you please explain your actions?

P.S. Is “internal laundry” Australian for “high colonic”?

Found by: SloSydney. This Australian house is priceless, as far as I can tell. I’m so confused.

funny real estate - Can't Sleep, Birds Will Eat Me

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So Very Charming

Aug. 9, 2010

funny real estate - So Very Charming
Everyone! Wave your handles in the air like you don’t care…

Loveliest comment, by JMixx:

Here’s a llama! There’s a llama!
And another little llama!
Funny llama,
Fuzzy llama,
Llama, llama,

Elliptical!

…wait…

Found by: Wendy
funny real estate - So Very Charming

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Coober Pedy Gets Classy

Aug. 2, 2010

funny real estate - Coober Pedy Gets Classy
funny real estate - Coober Pedy Gets Classy

Oh, Coober Pedy! You clean up real good!

I have a thing for Coober Pedy (as in I’m fascinated by it; I wouldn’t want to live there, as I get a sunburn if I have the brightness turned up too high on my monitor), and this is the most gussied up dugout I’ve ever seen. Yes, at four bedrooms the house seems a little small right now, but don’t worry; the listing says “you can add another 20 if you wish,” which is the most obliging zoning law I’ve ever read. Unfortunately the eBay auction says they “will arrange for local pickup only (no shipping),” and I don’t have any plans for an Australian trip any time soon.

Maybe that should change. Maybe, like the Twitards’ field trip to Forks, we need to do some Lovely Listing home tours in the Australian outback. I’m sure we can get Cheezburger, Inc. to pay. Who’s in?
Found by: Aaron

Loveliest comment, by TeacherLady: I live in a berm house and I have a feeling this is what some people picture my house looks like. Then I have to go ruin their delusions and let them know that my windows aren’t filled with dirt and my walls aren’t stone. My house loses much of it’s appeal when I start describing it as a walk-out basement without a house.


funny real estate - Coober Pedy Gets Classy

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Angelina and Maddox’s Australian Getaway

Aug. 1, 2010

funny real estate - Angelina and Maddoxs Australian Getaway

Please note the disclaimer in the top right corner: this is an “Artist Impression.” They are not claiming that a harried moviestar — quick: how many movies of hers can you name that you’ve actually seen? – will be running across your driveway, carrying small children. No, for once again it’s an aspirational listing. Play your cards right and all this could be yours.

Found by: Snoskred
funny real estate - Angelina and Maddoxs Australian Getaway

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So Cozy, So Desolate

Jul. 30, 2010

funny real estate - So Cozy, So Desolate
funny real estate - So Cozy, So Desolate

The craziest thing? These were taken on the same day.

Good Lord, I want this house. Yes, my husband’s commute to downtown Seattle will be a bit rough, and my kids are in for hella long schoolbus rides. But I DON’T CARE because LOOK AT IT JUST LOOK AT IT. I WILL NEVER HAVE TO GO ON DANDELION PATROL AGAIN.
Found by: Andrew

Loveliest comment, by Stuart: If you can deal with piles of snow in winter and hordes of orcs in spring, this place is for you.
funny real estate - So Cozy, So Desolate

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Cow Church

Jul. 11, 2010

funny real estate

funny real estate

funny real estate

funny real estate

In an effort to combat declining membership, this church is trying to make itself more appealing and cosy. “Why stay home on Sundays?” it asks. “Now you can have all the comfort of your sofa — but with none of the inconvenient damnation of breaking the third commandment!”

Unfortunately most of the people in the area have a rather odd genetic mutation that causes a violent allergic reaction when they are exposed to gingham, and thus the comfy, comfy pews remain empty Sabbath after Sabbath.

Found By: Simon

Loveliest comment, by Patrick: or sale: Lovely small country church outside city limits of Stockbridge, MA. Entire congregation area cleaned out, pews removed. Pictures you are seeing is actually up in bell tower, so there is plenty of room in the congregation area, seeing as how all the pews have been removed. Makes for great storage space. Conveniently located close to popular local restaurant, city dump, police station, and county courthouse. Great parking area – can park buses of any size. Breathtaking lookout points nearby.

funny real estate

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