ARE YOU CALM YET?!?

I CAN SENSE THAT YOU ARE NOT ENTIRELY IN A MEDITATIVE STATE

OH GOOD GLAD TO SEE YOU’RE APPROACING YOUR BUDDHA-NATURE IN THESE TRANQUIL SURROUNDINGS

NOW LET’S RELAX WITH A NICE CUP OF TEA. YOU, ME, AND THIS BIG OL’ BUDDHA STATUE. HE TAKES HIS WITH EXTRA HONEY, THANKS.

Found by: Cedric

Loveliest comment, by glasgowtremontaine: Throughout the surprisingly big Asian continent, nothing says ZEN like prayer flags, wrathful deities, and zebra-head rugs.

This apartment building is “Available as of : Immediately” says the listing. Hurry! Won’t last long!

Found by: Valerie and Colleen

Hi there! Or, as we say in French, hey baby, c’est quoi en français?

This listing has more intriguing photos than I can put up here. There’s a door with a towel shoved under it, behind which I presume someone is attempting to kill themselves (but I hope they brought a book, because the stoves are electric). One room is all done up and fancy with a big TV, while other rooms are depressingly squalid. There are piles of things everywhere, but the building also looks clean and well tended to… except where it isn’t. And then there’s our man of mystery lounging on the daybed, above. Pourquoi?

I shall use my little gray cells and try to determine what is going on.

Found by: Aurelie

And this, boys and girls, is why we don’t paint the walls when we have the hiccoughs.
Found by: Aurélie

I like to think that the sad resident of this place eventually found love and moved in here. Awww! Sweet. Life-threatening, but sweet. Now there are two folding chairs, not just one, and they even get burners! No oven… Hmmm. Maybe they’re waiting until they’re married.

Found By: JP

Loveliest comment, by Jano: Carrying a few extra pounds would be a fatal disorder. It would be a shame to die in a tragic balcony-dining room collapse. Cause of death: metal fatigue

NOTE: The Belgian chocolate might be worth it, though.

Happy Groundhog’s Day! You’re going to be eating breakfast RIGHT HERE every day of your life for years on end! Wait, wait — why are you crying? Please don’t cry. Shush, shush, don’t cry. It’s okay. Sorry about the microwave not working, by the way, but we couldn’t find an outlet. Awwww.

Found By: JP

Loveliest comment, by Blandwagon: I like the fact that you can slide your dinner-for-one out of the microwave and into position for eating without even getting out of your chair. So handy when your crippling depression makes moving about impossible!

Why don’t I have this? WHY DON’T I HAVE THIS? You eat a snack in front of the TV, you put your plate on the floor, you grab your shuffleboard paddle and give the dish a good THWACK and it goes WHEE right into the sink. Ten points!

This also works for curling, but then you have to get your spouse (or date or pet or child or UPS guy) to work as the sweeper.

Found By: Jp

Loveliest comment, by Tacomagic : The destroyer sees our kitchen! Dive, Dive! 10º downbubble!

I’ve long wondered why agents would include photos of the residents in their listings. It seems the people behind this listing, which househunter Valerie found, agree. Privacy now!