Sometimes you just want to put the kids to bed and watch “True Blood” while drinking jargaritas without the young ones wandering into the living room and learning about vampires and werewolves and fake… uh… eyelashes at far too young an age.

For those moments, we recommend soundproof, waterproof, sealing metal doors for the little tykes’ bedrooms. Submarine doors! Ask your contractor for them today!

Found by:

Illegible

Via: online.wsj.com

Duck, Duck, Duck… oh hell, I’ve eaten them all.

Sometimes, as a joke, while one roommate is asleep, the other roommate turns the sliding doors around on their rail so the one-way mirrors are reversed. Good morning, sweetcheeks!

 Loveliest comment, by Jessica: It kills me that there’s a link to find out about local schools. I guess you just tether the kids out on the terrace…

Shhh. Don’t look now, but I think your neighborhood watch program isn’t quite as good as you presumed.

Keep it in a warm spot, and in five to ten days a loveseat should emerge.

Loveliest comment, by shrapnel: Drapery breeding season is upon us again. Having filled itself with carpet, the young drape forms its cocoon which you see here. In time, the mature drape will emerge, climb the wall and suspend itself from above the window to wait for the arrival of another drape of the opposing gender. Then, the cycle will begin again.

Found by:

gaia0

Via: www.rightmove.co.uk

I give up! No more househunting for me. I’m just going to buy us a caravan and we’ll live life on the road. Look for me in a campground near you.

Found by: me

Loveliest comment, by tuulikki: I also join the WANT train. Always had a yen to live in an oatmeal box.
My favorite part from the listing:
Decoration (restrained) – £650
Decoration (unrestrained) – £1,300

Bathroom. Living room. There is no relief.

Found by: Marco

And who would live here, you ask? Ta dah! Behold the happy couple on their way to the closing:

Unfortunately they seem to have forgotten their certified check. And their pens. And their clothes. But it’s a buyer’s market and I’m sure they’ll be fine.

Found by: me

Loveliest comment, by LMA: Well, on the negative side of this real estate equation, your house is completely exposed to the elements on one side. But on the positive side, at least you aren’t one of the people across the street who lives in the townhouses with no roof. Also on the plus side, you drive a Prius. So what you save in gas money, you can put directly towards your “pay for the missing wall of the house” fund.

How very odd. You’d think the real estate agent would mention… oh, wait. They did.

Found by: Amanda

Loveliest comment, by Jessie: Sell that bamboo-eating beauty to a zoo, and you’ve paid for the house I’m sure. Not so sure about the pig and the rabbit and their forbidden love.

Yes, I’m aware that the Realtor prooobably just ran out of character space in his listing.

But that ain’t stopping me from laughing that the big selling point of this property is that IT HAS BEE!!!

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bee.

Found By: Martin