Hate neighbors and hate yardwork? Have I got the house for you!

Found by:

Illegible

Via: www.privateislandsonline.com

How many times have you heard this from prospective buyers: “But, Mr. or Ms. Real Estate Agent, what I, a potential buyer, really want to know is this: Will this house hold a modest PEZ-dispenser collection?”

Yes. The answer is yes. This house will hold a modest PEZ-dispenser collection.

Found by:

wichetty_g

Via: www.trulia.com

Included: stove, microwave, washer, side-by-side dual solar-powered clothes dryers.

Don’t mind the pink sky. It has nothing to do with the weakened global hydrological cycle or all the aerosol particles in the upper troposphere. We just have really pretty sunsets out here!!!

Found by: Hart

I like to imagine that this umbrella had a huge crush on the listing photographer and just kept following him around the house. “What do you think of my place? Not bad, huh? Yeah, but it was getting kinda lonely lounging around this big house all by myself. That’s why I’m moving out, getting a smaller place. Not too small, of course, there’s still room for company, but it will definitely be a bit… cozier. So, do you like Kenneth Anger…?”

Found by: Aaron

Sometimes, when the sun is just so and there’s a chill in the air, the dryer sits by itself and reminisces about its former success. All those years of training — the early  mornings, the late nights, the missed parties that the other appliances had — and now all the dryer has to show for it is this trophy.

But it was worth it. It was worth it.

Found by: Maria

You show people in listings, and I complain. You don’t show people in listings, and I complain again. Clearly this listing Liz found is an attempt at compromise, and I’m a jerk for not being satisfied. Pfft! Me.

There are two reasons why I have nothing mean to say about this listing, which was found by Beth (and also by someone who wishes to remain anonymous).

1. I’m afraid they’ll send me a mean letter, and
2. I honestly think it’s really freaking awesome. Come on! Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!!

Sorry. I might have taken a few too many allergy pills this morning (can you see the lasers shooting out of my eyes, or is that just me?). But really, I do think it’s great. I thoroughly approve of people going nuts in their own homes. Good luck to the real estate agent, but dang, if I had a spare seven million bucks (I don’t, I checked) and I wanted to live in Connecticut, I’d be moving in tomorrow.

Anyway. Because the people involved have shown themselves to be rather protective of the listing, let’s only say nice things in the comments, shall we?

Yeah, okay, it’s just a dirty carpet. Whatever. We’ve seen much, much, worse. But as mars78 pointed out — it’s a freaking SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE. I can rent a steam cleaner from the grocery store up the street for twenty bucks, and my kids would pay me to let them use it (especially because we don’t have any carpets and it would be an extra exciting experience using it on the wood floors).

Is the profit margin really that teeny on real estate that they can’t afford the expense? If so, they should consider getting into a more profitable business. Like blogging. That’s where the smart money is these days. Uh-huh.

Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone — especially househunter Julie, who found this inviting “Swimming Pool/Hot Tub/Sauna”! We’ll all be there for your pool party… I’ve got my onion dip all ready to go.