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Here is a test. You have to raise your children in one of these locations: either the $495 1BD Murder Den apartment above, or the 10 bedroom, 19 bathroom ranch below. Which do you chose, and why? And do you change your choice upon finding out that the ranch was owned by Michael Jackson?
Top listing found by Nico; bottom listing found by Haleigh. Missing a screen shot for the first one, sorry.
Whenever my husband and I are watching TV and one character on the show becomes ill / is injured / passes out, we both start muttering “dab dab dab dab.” Lo, like magic, nine times out of ten another character will come along and start gently mopping the first character’s forehead. Dabbing! It heals all!
Except for this.
Found by: Emily
Loveliest comment, by tuulikki: If you combine this listing plus the recent ugly bathtub and tilted ones, you get
“Sponge Blob Squarecants”
**ducks and runs for cover**
You know how it is. You’re lounging on your sofa, you have a call of nature but the bathroom is so far away. Worry no more! Now you can poop where you nap, and nap where you poop! You’ll be like a frikking cat. It’ll be great.
Found by: Nana. Sorry, but it is Not For Sale.
Loveliest comment, by bryn: Oh dear god no! Smell is particulate people. How many bazillions of poo particles are settled into those cushions? Even dainty poo particles are horrifying. Soft furnishings and lavvies do not mix. No fluffy loo seat covers, no spanish lady bogroll covers and NO CUSHIONS!
You know what? It’s been a long time since we had an OH MY GOD HOW DID THAT EVEN GET IN THE TOILET? AND WHY DID THE REAL ESTATE AGENT TAKE A PHOTO OF IT? AND WHY IS IT IN THE LISTING? AND HOW SHOULD I LIVE MY LIFE TO MAKE SURE I NEVER SEE THIS IN REAL LIFE? sort of post, the kind there used to be so many of here. So, here you go! My new LOLcat overlord picked a doozy! But good news — in the two years I’ve been doing this I finally sort of maybe figured out how to do it as a thumbnail, so you don’t have to click on it if you don’t want to.
Let me repeat that. You don’t have to click on it.
There is no reason to.
It’s gross.
Don’t do it.
I’m slightly ashamed that I even put this post up. My mom reads this blog, you know.
The air around here is 99% pollen and I can barely think. But one more time: You don’t have to click on it.
<—- WARNING: WEIRDER THAN YOU THINK
Lovely Listing: We Look So You Don’t Have To
Found by: Nina
Loveliest comment, by Girl in glasses: Calm down everyone–it’s obviously just a set from CSI
“Photos coming soon” sez the optimistic listing. Just as soon as the camera floats to the surface…
Found by: Chris
Loveliest comment, by Scuzz: *cue music*
No oooooone…..
has plots like Gabon
sells cheap lots like Gabon
No one misplaces GPS dots like Gabon!
“No Additional Photos Provided,” sez the listing.
“No additional photos necessary,” sez I.
(Found By: Rob & Elle C. And hellloo, Nevada! Could this really be your first Lovely Listing?)
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