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Archive for the 'Washington' Category

Chateaux Twin Peaks

Apr. 6, 2010

Funny Real Estate - Chateaux Twin Peaks
Funny Real Estate - Chateaux Twin Peaks

Funny Real Estate - Chateaux Twin Peaks

Included: washer, dryer, a whole lot of plastic sheeting… sorry, sorry. But I’m a little wiggy right now, having just spent far too long looking through episodes of Twin Peaks trying to find an good shot of Laura Palmer’s house — for yea, this is what you have  before you — to put up. And I failed. Here’s the best I could find:

It’s Laura’s dad, being all grrrr at the brooding James Hurley, and I’m not even certain it’s the same house, although the listing says “This is truly a remarkable historical estate chosen to air as Laura Palmers home on Twin Peaks,” like that’s a good thing. Sorry, but there’s only so much time (just about 45 minutes, as it turns out) that I can spend watching Twin Peaks in the middle of the day, especially since my small children keep wandering in and I don’t really think seeing pretty, pale, red-lipped, black-haired teenage girls being killed is appropriate for children, is it? No, it is not, Disney’s Snow White notwithstanding.

Instead, I offer you this. Back when Twin Peaks was first on TV, one of my housemates worked for Jolene Unsoeld (all non-Washingtonians may now go “huh?” and move on to photos of kittens in odd situations). It seems that around the office, the staff nickname for Congresswoman Unsoeld was “The Log Lady,” because of a) her environmental stand, and b) a slight physical resemblance. “But don’t tell anyone!” said my roommate, “we don’t want her opponents to use it in the next campaign!”

Ladies and gentlemen, I kept that secret for twenty years. I told nobody. But now I tell everyone. And nobody cares, and most people don’t even know what the hell I’m talking about. But I feel SO MUCH BETTER for getting that out.

Thank you for listening.

Found by: Magnoire

Loveliest comment, by mudslicker: Someone must have bought stock in railing spindles. Make the vertical lines stop!

Funny Real Estate - Chateaux Twin Peaks

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Outlet outlet

Mar. 4, 2010

Outlets! We got outlets! Get your outlets here!

What? Is that not enough? Here, have some more.

A local informant — wait, I’m a local informant — well, a different local informant informs me that the kitchen has 28 outlets. One for the coffee maker, one for the coffee grinder, one for the toaster, and 25 for… for… for the floor polishing machines you and your family can ride around on! Whee!

But wait! What’s that out back? Ohhh… it’s Chair’s own little bit of Eden. Let’s tiptoe away and leave them in peace.

Found by: Dylan

Loveliest comment, by PepperjackCandy: My ex was always putting furniture in front of the outlets. And I was always complaining about it. This looks like they had a similar situation, only the husband had the know-how to say, “You don’t like that desk in front of the outlet? How about an outlet HERE! And HERE! And HERE!”

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Upholstered Desperados

Feb. 23, 2010

funny real estate

funny real estate

funny real estate

Ooohhh no! It’s another BATF stand-off (not to be confused with a WTF stand-off). But this time… this time there were casualties. And we know them well.

chair-standoff

Why? WHY??

chair-standoff2

Oh, Chairs. You gave all you had in the service of… um… whatever this stand-off was about. We will always remember your sacrifices.

Loveliest comment, by bryn: Chair’s cousin, Armchair, is dressed up as a ghost. Not sure if this is a Halloween thing, or he’s just in mourning and trying to commune with Chair and Chair again.

Found By: Jeffrey

funny real estate

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White Picket Portcullis

Feb. 7, 2010

funny real estate

All the convenience of a medieval portcullis — now in an HOA-approved white-picket-fence style.

Found By: Jessica

P.S. Happy birthday, mom!

Loveliest comment, by Thrifty Thelma: Oh anthropomorphic house… your eyes say “come in” but your mouth says “go away”

funny real estate

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Helpful Ceiling Tiles are Helpful

Feb. 1, 2010

ceiling_tiles

“Don’t forget us!” cried the ceiling tiles. “We’re coming, too!” Then they hopped down and packed themselves into boxes.

Found by: me

Loveliest comment, by mudslicker: Billy Bob made a note to himself to remember that, on the next renovation, the use of ABC Hubba-Bubba is NOT a recommended adhesive for installing ceiling tiles.

Screen shot 2010-01-31 at 11.29.53 AM

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Mural Mania

Dec. 22, 2009

Funny Real Estate Listing - Mural Mania

Funny Real Estate Listing - Mural Mania

Funny Real Estate Listing - Mural Mania

Funny Real Estate Listing - Mural Mania

Funny Real Estate Listing - Mural Mania

Funny Real Estate Listing - Mural Mania

And now, in the holiday spirit: fistfights, tears, and inappropriate drunkenness. No, wait. Try again.

*ahem*

Now, in the holiday spirit: I have nothing mean to say. Actually, I think this is awesome! Unfortunately it looks like it’s already sold; otherwise it would go right on my wish list.

Found By: Al

Late-breaking news: an article about the painter, Terrell Lozada, can be read here.

muralmania-screen

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Avatar: The Suburban Years

Dec. 18, 2009

Funny-Real Estate-Photo-Blue1

Funny-Real Estate-Photo-Blue2

Funny-Real Estate-Photo-Blue3

Once again, we ask: who would live in such a blue house? And once again, we turn to my excellent Photoshop skills for the answer:

navi-lawnmower

No, I don’t know why she’s mowing a gravel driveway, but I’m sure the movie explains it. And why her heard is so big. And why she has hairy forearms.

Found By: Anon

blue-house-screen

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