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Archive for the 'blurry' Category

It’s… Nice

Dec. 7, 2011

funny real estate - It's... Nice

You know, it’s just generally a nice-ish place. I think. It looks kind of, big? I think it’s white? Your guess is as good as mine.

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It’s a Lovely, Um, Portal? Drain?

Feb. 8, 2011

funny real estate - It's a Lovely, Um, Portal? Drain?

If you stare at it long enough it starts to pulsate. Eventually your body is filled with a warm sense of love, contentment, and unity with the universe. All questions become answerable: What is my purpose? How do I live a good life? “Why rent when this is affordable!!”

Or is that just me? The listing doesn’t say.

Found by: unknown

Loveliest comment, by Adam Eli Clem:

I think it’s a crappy photo of one of these windows, installed in the front door:

http://marketplace.veer.com/images/1940039_gothic-window

That, or a crappy photo of the eye of a Visitor, as seen through the window in the front door:

http://www.thelivingmoon.com/49ufo_files/03files2/KGB_Project_ISIS_01.html

Found by: Unknown

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"Must Look Past The Fire Damage To This Unique, "Silo"-Style" Contempo"

Dec. 22, 2009

Funny Real Estate Listings - Fire Damage Silo

Yesterday’s attempt at finding a few minutes of peace and quiet failed, resulting in me being covered in glitter glue and googly eyes.

If you need me today, I’ll be in the silo. please don’t tell my kids

Found By: Nick

screen shot

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Top Tips for Real Estate Agents

Dec. 16, 2009

Top Tips for Real Estate Agents: a Year-End List

(in which I reuse old posts for educational purposes)


1. Flush the toilet.

28118740_2_0(original post)

2. Put your pants back on before taking the photo.

pantsless

(original post)

3. Clean up if the house isn’t in good shape. Vaseline on the lens is not the answer.

vaseline-p

(original post)

4. Look, we presume there’s a toilet. We don’t need to see it.

frat-toilet

(original post)

5. No, really. “Pants on” is a pretty basic rule when it comes to real estate agents at work.

estonia-no-chair(original post)

6. New toilets don’t cost that much. Maybe you should buy one, if they’re that important to you.

caution-toilet

(original post)

7. Keep the photos relevant. I’m sure your pets are charming but, unless they transfer, don’t include them in the listing.

turtle-chihuahuahua

(original post)

8. How’s this for a compromise: include a photo of the toilet only if it’s not where one might logically expect to find it.

toilet-fridge-stereo

(original post)

9. You’re going to keep on using toilet photos, aren’t you? I give up. Is there a support group you could join? Maybe you should start one. You could meet here:

double-toilet

(original post)

Thanks for an excellent year, real estate agents! I couldn’t do it without you. And remember…

10. …it never hurts to include a photo of Chair.

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No, the pictures are fine. It's you.

Dec. 13, 2009

vaseline

vaseline

Forgot to take your contacts out last night, did you?

Found by: Gabe

Loveliest comment, by Fanboy Wife: No, no, this is really how the house looks. Their interior designer was an Impressionist.

vaseline-screen

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Kitchen 2600

Sep. 12, 2009

Funny-Real Estate-Photo-IsTheCameraDrunk?

…and here we see the highly pixilated galley of the Space Invader’s mothership. Don’t forget to use the “shoot through the counters” defense! neee neee neee neee neee neee neee neeeee

Submitted By: Andrea F

Funny-Real Estate-Photos-DrunkListing

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It Doubles As A Garbage Disposal

Aug. 18, 2009

Funny-Real Estate-Photos-ItDoublesAsAGarbageDisposal
Included: washer, dryer, spinning portal to another dimension, stove.

(Found by Carlos.)

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