I’ve always wanted to shut something up by stepping on it. This clock is right up my alley.
Found by: Unknown
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Archive for the 'carpet' Category
And Stay Out!
Nov. 27, 2011
You look better in the yard anyway.
Found by: Unknown
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Where Did I Put the Clippers
Nov. 10, 2011
The maintenance on these st(h)airs is just a beast! Next time we go with a shag runner.
Found by: Unknown
Via: inspire.2ia.pl
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Scary Carpet
Aug. 5, 2011
By: Fleur Planne
How convenient, when the elevator full of blood opens and spills its gore, you’ll be covered.
Found by: Megan
Via: www.realtor.com
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Wait, Where am I Supposed to Sit?
Jul. 21, 2011
By: Not Sara, Sorry
That pillow, that one there, that’s mine. Make yourself at home!
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Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Interior Decorators
Jan. 4, 2010
SCENE: A 3-bedroom split level house in Madison, circa 1975
HOMEOWNER 1: Time to pick out our new carpet, honey!
HOMEOWNER 2: Let’s get something practical. Something that won’t show stains.
HOMEOWNER 1: Great idea. How about these? (PULLS OUT CARPET SAMPLES) These will certainly hide dirt. All kinds of dirt could be hidden here, yessiree!
HOMEOWNER 2: Perfect! My goodness, I hate to think how much dirt would have to be on this carpeting for the dirt to actually show up! Fortunately nobody would ever let their house get that dirty!
HOMEOWNER 1: Certainly not! That would be ridiculous.
HOMEOWNER 2: Now that we have that settled — how about some fondue?
HOMEOWNER 1: What?
HOMEOWNER 2: I don’t know, it’s just the first mid-’70s food that came to mind. Mmmm. Fondue. And we don’t have to worry if we drop it on the carpet. It can be the first of so many things we stash away here…
HOMEOWNER 1: Wait, what, now the carpet’s installed? I thought we just picked it out. This makes no sense.
HOMEOWNER 2: I know. Plus my name is “Homeowner 2″? What the hell?
HOMEOWNER 1: This is too weird. Why couldn’t we be in one of the “secretly I think this is awesome posts? I’m outta here.
HOMEOWNER 2: Wait for meeee!
Found By: Erik
Loveliest comment, by Heidi: Add like 2 more inches of shag to the orange shag, and that’s my aunt’s carpet. That she’s had for going on 40 years. And they have pets. Seriously, we could probably find enough DNA in that carpet to clone the four dogs they’ve had.
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This Carpet Is Making Me Seasick
Nov. 21, 2009
Okay… I see what they were going for there… but they could’ve done more. Nobody’s sick of my showing off my art school degree yet, right? Great! Here we go!
Ahh. Much better.
Found by: PJ Fry
Loveliest comment, by Lazlo H: I was saddened to find out that Transmorphers is not actually a transexual porn flick based on the Transformers, but is just a cheap action movie.
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