Lovely Listing - Odd Finds in Real Estate Listings » carpet

Pretty Patterns

Cheezburger Network — Fri, 18 May 2012 19:00:00 +0000

Well if the person who vacuums so neatly comes with the house I’ll take it!

Found by:

Emerald63

Via: Trulia

Land of the Floor People

Cheezburger Network — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 16:00:00 +0000

Committing to real furniture is too much pressure. I prefer a landscape of tripping hazards.

Found by: Unknown

Via: Inspire Me Now

So Unfair

Cheezburger Network — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 22:00:00 +0000

It’s a sad day when you realize that there are cats living a more luxurious life than you are.

Found by: Unknown

Via: Apartment Therapy

Future Bathing!

Cheezburger Network — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:00:00 +0000

Oh my god, with a bathroom like this I wouldn’t need the rest of the house. Just install a pneumatic tube to deliver me food and I’m a happy camper!

Found by: Unknown

Via: boingboing.net

Wake Up and Step on Me!

Cheezburger Network — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

I’ve always wanted to shut something up by stepping on it. This clock is right up my alley.

Found by: Unknown

And Stay Out!

Cheezburger Network — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 14:00:00 +0000

You look better in the yard anyway.

Found by: Unknown

Via: liefujishiro.tumblr.com

Where Did I Put the Clippers

Cheezburger Network — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 20:00:00 +0000

The maintenance on these st(h)airs is just a beast! Next time we go with a shag runner.

Found by: Unknown

Via: inspire.2ia.pl

Scary Carpet

Cheezburger Network — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 21:00:00 +0000

By: Fleur Planne

How convenient, when the elevator full of blood opens and spills its gore, you’ll be covered.

Found by: Megan

Via: www.realtor.com

Wait, Where am I Supposed to Sit?

Cheezburger Network — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 21:00:00 +0000

By: Not Sara, Sorry

That pillow, that one there, that’s mine. Make yourself at home!

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Interior Decorators

Cheezburger Network — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 13:24:27 +0000

SCENE: A 3-bedroom split level house in Madison, circa 1975

HOMEOWNER 1: Time to pick out our new carpet, honey!

HOMEOWNER 2: Let’s get something practical. Something that won’t show stains.

HOMEOWNER 1: Great idea. How about these? (PULLS OUT CARPET SAMPLES) These will certainly hide dirt. All kinds of dirt could be hidden here, yessiree!

HOMEOWNER 2: Perfect! My goodness, I hate to think how much dirt would have to be on this carpeting for the dirt to actually show up! Fortunately nobody would ever let their house get that dirty!

HOMEOWNER 1: Certainly not! That would be ridiculous.

HOMEOWNER 2: Now that we have that settled — how about some fondue?

HOMEOWNER 1: What?

HOMEOWNER 2: I don’t know, it’s just the first mid-’70s food that came to mind. Mmmm. Fondue. And we don’t have to worry if we drop it on the carpet. It can be the first of so many things we stash away here…

HOMEOWNER 1: Wait, what, now the carpet’s installed? I thought we just picked it out. This makes no sense.

HOMEOWNER 2: I know. Plus my name is “Homeowner 2″? What the hell?

HOMEOWNER 1: This is too weird. Why couldn’t we be in one of the “secretly I think this is awesome posts? I’m outta here.

HOMEOWNER 2: Wait for meeee!

Found By: Erik

Loveliest comment, by Heidi: Add like 2 more inches of shag to the orange shag, and that’s my aunt’s carpet. That she’s had for going on 40 years. And they have pets. Seriously, we could probably find enough DNA in that carpet to clone the four dogs they’ve had.