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Archive for the 'former…' Category

Please Don’t Let My Kids See This

Oct. 19, 2010

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funny real estate - Somebody Has Seen "BIG" a few Too Many Times

I’ve always thought I was a pretty good parent; my kids brush their teeth every night, one of my children knows how to read, and that nice woman from CPS was satisfied with phone interviews. But no! Looking at this listing, I see that I’ve been nothing but a grade-B parent. I do not work up to my full potential.

Sorry, kids. Mama tries. There’s only so much money to be made in the “humorous real-estate-listing with a minor in white monoblock chairs” blog field, and there’s a lot of competition. I do the best I can.

Now, who’s up for a fun game of Let’s Find All The Puzzle Pieces And Sort Them Into Their Appropriate Boxes? Wheee!

Found by: Brian

Loveliest comment, by Adelwyn: Looks like the perfect bachelor pad for my ex-husband! (Not that he could afford it on his hourly wage from the video game store…)

funny real estate - Somebody Has Seen "BIG" a few Too Many Times

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Saturday Night at the Lovely Listing HQ

Oct. 8, 2010

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toot toot

An enormous box of chicken pad Thai, an empty bottle of Champagne in the dishrack, flowers jammed in a  plastic bucket…  how did my kitchen get into this listing?

Found by: me. And I’m totally cheating, because it’s a tugboat. Toot toot!

 

Loveliest comment, by JMixx:

“‘S been a long freighter season, Frank.”

“Ayuh.”

“A man can get a mite lonely out here on the water, Frank.”

“Yup.”

“More Pad Thai, Frank?”

“Ayuh.”

“I brung ya some flowers, Frank.”

“Aw, Rick, ya didn’t have ta do that. Let me get a bucket of water.”

“I wanted to, Frank. I’ll open the champagne.”

 

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The Wine Cellar Dreams are Made of

Sep. 30, 2010

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funny real estate - The Wine Cellar Dreams are Made of

YES  I want to move to this former windmill. YES YES YES I will live in it and grind my own flour and get a job making tricks for a magician while I solve crimes on the side. But the wine cellar? Let’s be realistic. It’s going to look a little more like this after I move in:

funny real estate - beer cellar

(Yes, my beer floats. Wanna make something out of it?)

Found by: SilverShields

Loveliest comment, by Stuart: I would totally buy this place just so I could tell my kid (assuming I had a kid) to go sit in the corner if he misbehaves.

funny real estate - The Wine Cellar Dreams are Made of

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It’s Not Abuse If They’re The Ones on the Outside

Sep. 9, 2010

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funny real estate - Cozy Guest Room

DAMMIT, KIDS

MAMA LOVES YOU BUT SHE REALLY REALLY REALLY NEEDS A FEW MINUTES TO HERSELF

PLEASE JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT OF ALONE TIME

ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO TO THE BATHROOM BY MYSELF

IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK

*has an idea*

Ahhhhh… peace.

I’m never coming out.

Found by: Robert

Loveliest comment, by Anodean: You have to respect a family that refuses to institutionalize their werewolf.
funny real estate - Cozy Guest Room

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There’s No Place Like Housing Unit

Aug. 31, 2010

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Hey, kids! I found our new home! It has everything we need!

no more termites!

See? We’ll live in a housing unit. Housing unit sweet housing unit.

feeling chipper

Finally, a place for me to store my wood chip collection. I have almost the complete set!

Sometimes a pavilion will drop by for a visit. And if that isn’t exciting enough…

…ta dah! We can always generate emergencies to pass the time.

We’ll have some cool new pets, too.

Via Metafilter. These 48 buildings in upstate New York — a former TB sanitarium, that isn’t a problem, is it? — are yours for the low, low price of… uh… I have no idea.

Loveliest comment, by Lilly: What is it? Tthe DHARMA Initiative’s barracks?

thumb thumb thumb thumb-thumb-thumb thumb thumb tumb

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My father’s house has only three bedrooms

Jun. 3, 2010

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I’ve decided that yesterday’s cement factory / office wasn’t really homey enough for me. But it’s okay, because I’ve already got my eye on a new pad, and this one really is for sale. Here, let me give you a tour.

Pretty swell, huh? Here’s the room where I’ll ride my fixie, giving Kevin Bacon a ride on the handlebars:

This room is for shucking oysters:

Here are the stairs I never use while wearing a skirt:

I’m not sure what I do here. Stare at a big blank circle, I guess, while my beach towels dry.

Hope you liked seeing my new place! Do drop by. We have an open house most Sunday mornings. Sorry if it gets a little awkward when we pass the plate, but you should see our Swiffer bills.

Found by: rtha

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NFSWednesday: taking “industrial” to a new level

Jun. 2, 2010

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Happy Not For Sale Wednesday! This week, let’s think about what it would be like to live in an office. And not just any office, but one that used to be a cement factory. To begin with, we have what I will turn into my dining room:

The big cone is the salt dispenser. I really like salt.

Here’s my paintball room:

And finally, here’s the outside. I have a slight problem with ivy.

There you have it — my new home.

Found by: I don’t know. I mean, I found these photos today after looking for them, but I don’t remember where I first heard about a former cement factory being turned into offices and I doubt it came to me in a dream. If you want to take credit, knock yourself out.

Loveliest comment, by noonebutme: seems like it would be hard to keep up an appetite with the possibility of a ton of concrete pouring out over the table at any moment.

screen shot through the heart and you're to blame

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