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Archive for the 'lair' Category

Those Were the Days

Mar. 22, 2010

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I am confused. What is on this above-ground bunker’s roof? Is it the AC? The heater? The beehives? The composting toilet? Whatever it is, doesn’t it seem like something the listing should mention?

But come to think of it, my house came with two Dish Network dishes and they weren’t mentioned in the listing, as I recall. Never mind. Let’s move inside.

If you’ve got reeely tall ceilings in your bunker, you might as well use ‘em. Why not stack the washer and dryer until they’re higher than the fridge? And to turn it on, just… oh. Hmmm.

Found by: me

Loveliest comment, by Yudo Nomi: My favorite line: “Step outside the front door and you can fire a pistol, throw knives, strip naked, whatever!” Given infinite options, those were the first 3 things that came to my mind as well. In that order.

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Hello, Neighborhood Crimewatch?

Oct. 27, 2009

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Funny-Real Estate-Photo-UnansweredQuestions

You might think that arch-villains always live in underground lairs, or on top of volcanoes. But no. Some live in pleasant three-bedroom suburban brick houses, and the only way you can tell the homeowners are bad guys is by reading subtle clues.

Your neighbor might actually be your secret nemesis. Learn to spot the evildoers today!

Found By: Claire M

Loveliest comment, by Babs: Does the listing include a rudimentary map with a big X on it?

Funny-Real Estate-Photo-PlotsAfoot

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Villainous Starter Home

Oct. 8, 2009

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Funny-Real Estate-Photo-VolcanoLair
This house can be yours for… three quarter of a million dollars! Bwa ha ha… ha.. ha… *cough cough cough* This makes me wonder. When I bought my house, I had to have a big talk with the insurance company about what kind of wiring it had, where the nearest fire hydrant was, and how many neighboring houses would plunge into ours in the event of a landslide. How do you explain to your insurance agent that your house is, in fact, LOCATED IN THE CONE OF A VOLCANO? How does the conversation go after you say that? I imagine it’s a bit more involved than admitting that you need to give the living room an earthquake retrofit, and that was awkward enough for me.

Found By: Katt T.

And I ask you, because my head is full of phlegm: three quarter of a million? three quarters of a million? three-quarter million? I’ve stared at it too long and now none of them look right. 750 big ones!

Loveliest comment, and it was not easy to chose, by Ruth (excerpt): Caveat aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrggggg

Funny-Real Estate-Photo-VillainStarterHome

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